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September 27, 2010

To clarify, this headline is not from The Onion.

The death of actual human beings aside, this is probably the funniest news story to happen in a while. Jimi Heselden, millionaire owner of the Segway company died when he rode a Segway off a cliff.

Said the West Yorkshire Police, who've been investigating the incident: "At this time we do not believe the death to  be suspicious." Oh right, nothing suspicious -- just that the SEGWAYS HAVE BECOME SELF AWARE.

I started to feel bad laughing at this story (not that bad because did you see the headline?), but then the LOLs came guilt-free upon seeing this:

Okay okay. He's probably not a dick. But then again:

"Could that picture be any more smug."
-Miss Chanandelor Bong

Fiiiine. He was probably a good guy that didn't deserve this all too comical fate. But then again, he did attempt to convince people that this was the future of transportation.