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April 06, 2016
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Comedian and recently self-appointed film critic, Brad Wenzel raves and scathes about The Visit.

The Visit (2015)

the visit.jpg

Those rules seem kind of reasonable without the bloody fingerprints.

Brad Wenzel Raves:

In this M. Night Shyamalan film, two children visit their grand parents for the very first time and no one says anything racist. Shyamalan sure loves them twists and The Visit is full of them.

Olive DeJonge plays Becca, a 15-year-old aspiring film maker. The whole movie is shot through her camera. Her younger brother, Tyler is played by Ed Oxenbould. Tyler has a phobia of germs and loves to freestyle rap. These two kids travel to the country to stay with their estranged grandparents while their mother goes on a cruise. If this was a Lifetime original movie, these kids would have learned the value of a simpler life without cell phone reception. However, this film has a much more practical message: cell phone reception is important and without it old people will definitely try to kill you.

At one point I jumped in my seat and was like, “Ah, you got me.”

The grandparents do everything a terrifying old person can do. Sleep walking, speaking in gibberish, and of course the big one… unexpected nudity. Just shy of voting, they pretty much cover it all.

Brad Wenzel Scathes:

I won’t reveal the biggest twist, but I will say the biggest one for me personally came at the very end of the movie, when Tyler raps about how he and his sister are totally fine. Tyler gets human feces smeared on his face by a psychopath and he has to help his sister murder an old couple in order to survive. However, not only is there no psychological damage to these children… Tyler is totally comfortable doing a goofy rap about these events.

Rumor has it that despite going back and fourth with the studio, Shymalan was truly hell bent on ending the film with a lighthearted rap. I don’t know this for a fact, but sources tell me the director considered cutting in a segment of the “Men In Black” music video where Will Smith dances with the CGI alien. Another cut of the movie has the same end credits as Ghostbusters 2. Both clips can be found below:

You realize in the climax of the movie that the antagonists are kind of slow and frail. It almost feels unfair. Fighting a psychotic senior citizen is kind of like fighting a zombie that just hasn’t died yet.

Brad Wenzel Rates It: Five Stars?

*Originally published September 12, 2015
Brad Wenzel is a comedian. Follow him on twitter: @BradWenzel

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