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May 31, 2015
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Wendy finally got a sweet job or so she thinks she does. Will she be fattened up by her Morai and loose everything stay tune. Irish Translations: Morai- Grandmother Crionna- Grandfather

Wendy Freshner’s Fall Jobs

Sketch #4

Job Title: Finnigan’s Lucky Pastries sale’s person.

Characters:

Wendy Freshner: After leaving the wedding in Las Vegas (See Sketch number 3) she tries to find a nice normal job, after quitting several jobs, hopefully her grandmother will take it easy on her.

Ashley Finnegan: Wendy Freshner’s Maternal Grandmother (Morai is Irish for Grandmother (Thank you internet for the help with the research!). She owns a Irish Bakery and disapproves of her daughter’s shenanigans.

Mister Blackwell: (See Season: 1) He is recovering from his addiction but still hears voices in his head, he does not know why though.

EXT: Finnegan’s Lucky Pastries

INT: Finnegan’s Lucky Pastries
(Wendy, Ashley, Mister Blackwell)

Ashley is busily force feeding Wendy behind the counter.

Wendy
Morai, stop!

Ashley
Come on my little lamb, you need to try my chocolate chip cookies, i need to perfect my recipe.

Wendy
It is perfect just like everything you ever made! So do not worry Morai.

Ashley
I want you to be fattened up honey, your way too skinny!

Wendy
I am not, according to my friend’s standards, i am a cow! And I have to be fit in order to be hired one day as a weather girl!

Ashley
Please, you barely have anything on you! And a weather girl is a shallow career. You should be in the culinary business like I am in luv.

Wendy
Your from the old country Morai, to these modern times, I am fat! My weight matters to my future career!

Ashley
(Scoffs) The old country my arse, I am from Ireland.

Wendy
Well to me it is the old country, the way you described how my grandfather was such a great healer.

Ashley
He was a doctor young lamb chop!

Wendy
A doctor who used Marijuana as an anesthesia!

Ashley
I am telling you love, those patience often left his office a lot happier than they were when they came in.

Wendy
You know Morai, it is no wonder how my Mom turned out the way she did.

Ashley
Bite your tongue and do not be cheeky to me.

Mister Blackwell enters the scene. He is wearing a fine looking suit.

Mister Blackwell
Ladies, I have come in for my daily funky scone and coffee.

Ashley
Of course Mister Blackwell.

Mister Blackwell
Your Grandmother has been giving me the best scones this side of LA.

Ashley
Oh please Mister Blackwell do not flatter me so.

Wendy
You seem a lot better than the last time I saw you.

Mister Blackwell
I have cleaned up my act Miss. Freshner, the aliens prefer me this way then the way I have been acting.

Wendy
(Coughs) You still hear them?

Mister Blackwell
More now then recently, I do not know why that is. It started as soon as I found Finnigans Pastries.

Wendy
Morai you did not do what I think you did to your pastries.

Ashley
It is my own special ingredient my little lamb.

Wendy
Really so it is not anything to worry about?

Ashley
Of course honey.

Wendy
Because the special ingredient would be love and not pray tell be anything illegal right?

Ashley
Illegal? Since when has hash been illegal?

Wendy
Oh Morai…Crionna had stopped practicing medicine since he has been in the America.

Ashley
Does not mean we do not still have his license.

Wendy
He has been dead for 5 years! And it was not legalized in America! He ended up being a cleaning station engineer.

Ashley
Do not talk down about your Crionna that way, he was the best in his field! It is a crying shame what America did to him.

Ashley finishes putting the scones in the bag.

Mister Blackwell
Can I get my fucking scone or what?!

Wendy
I am terribly sorry Mister Blackwell but I am afraid we can not give you a scone, we can however give you a muffin.

Mister Blackwell
I do not want some stinking muffin! I want my scone! I missed the voices in my head and I want them back!

Wendy
(Stuttering) B-but Mister Blackwell do you not want to fit in with society? What about your children?! (See last season in sketch number four)

Mister Blackwell
Screw the norm! And my children are brats anyway!

Wendy
You would abandon your children for weed?!

Mister Blackwell
(Tearing up) My ex Wife would not let me see them anyway. Now give me my damn scones!

Mister Blackwell grabs the bag with the scones in them from Ashley. He takes a big inhale.

Mister Blackwell
(Sighing) Nothing like fresh baked scones! Thanks Mrs. Finnegan!

Mister Blackwell leaves the scene.

Ashley
(Smug) Like you said I have no reason to worry. Now luv, lets keep baking those scones.

Wendy
I am bound to be arrested with what is going on with job, I am sorry Omari but I can not continue to work for you unless you stopped putting marijuana in your scones.

Ashley
But that is my special ingredient lamb! It would not taste the same as those regular old dull ones they sell at Whole Foods.

Wendy
Then I am sorry I can not work here anymore.

Ashley
Such a shame. At least take some scones for the road.

Wendy
(Shrugs) Why not? I am now unemployed anyway, might as well live like a slacker.

Ashley
That is the spirit!

End of Sketch.

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