Full Credits

Stats & Data

3Funny
0Die
43
Views
December 02, 2011
Published
Description

IF YOU PLAYED FANTASY FOOTBALL IN 2011 AND/OR YOU ENJOY LAUGHING, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY READ THIS.

During our fantasy football draft this summer, the owner of the Bruce Blingstein team was unaware that we started TWO quarterbacks in our league (we also use Individual Defensive Players-IDPs).  He didn't realize this until the fifth round or so of the draft, so yeah he was pretty much fucked. 

He still surprisingly managed to survive in this league for quite some time, but things started to get ugly.  And something needed to be done. This week's wrap-up introduced a major change to the future of the league's regular season.

Last week's ATL also introduced us to the most polarizing figure in the league, the team owner of Jack D Rocks.  He is the originator of the necrophilic accusations against the entire Bastard Mutants organization. Corpse Booty. As you'll soon see, this was just the beginning.

 

Professional Blues = me (Fox)

my ninjas = black

Jack D Rocks = brown

Legion of Doom = blue

RamRods = red

Bastard Mutants = orange

T. Green? = green

AK-47 = Adam (only met him a few times and have no idea what his last name is)

CANT WAIT = turquoise

Bruce Blingstein = gray (*automatic win*)

 

 

-mistereffoex

 

 

 

 

FaNasty News Wrap-Up (Week 8)

Tuesday, 11/1 2:30 PM - Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's tha first of tha month. So get up, get up, get up, cash yo checks and get up. Good afternoon and welcome to FN's weekly wrap-up. Please lock it up and hold it down as we take a quick look back at week eight's results. BREAKING NEWS: After conversations Monday morning, the National FaNasty League announced yesterday evening that the Bruce Blingstein organization will be designated as an "automatic win" for the remainder of the regular season. Club owner M*** L*** will not be able to make any trades (not like anyone in their right mind would want what he's got), and teams facing him will receive an *automatic win* for that week. As you'll soon read, my ninjas need to get their shit together before they suffer the same fate. But now, a look back at week eight.

PROFESSIONAL BLUES-W (5-3) v. RAMRODS-L (4-4)   (PB:168 pts. - RR:128 pts.)
Despite RamRods' owner J*** C****** claiming Fox's P Blues were going down, it turns out he got his ass handed to him. Quarterback Mike Vick and wideout Anquan Boldin helped lead the offense for Fox despite poor performances by offensive players Vincenct Jackson, Darren Sproles, and Marques Colston. The D stepped up in a big way for the Blues, and IDP Jared Allen has been playing out of his fucking mind as of late. While the RamRods find themselves in a tough spot following the loss, the Professional Blues have boosted themselves to third place in the league. J*** may hate Fox, but he clearly cannot beat him when it comes to gameplanning and execution.

T. GREEN?-W (4-4) v. MY NINJAS-L (4-4)   (TG: 199pts. - MN: 67pts.)
Running backs LeSean McCoy and Steven Jackson racked up some good tiebreaker points for T** P****** and his T. Green? club this past weekend. I say that because the points did not mean anything in regards to his matchup with D** O********'s my ninjas. With Aaron Rodgers on his bye, O******** apparently decided to not put forth any effor whatsoever. He plays a budding team in AK-47 next week, so a consecutive loss could have my ninjas on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoff party (and to think this team was once at the top of the pack). T. Green? has been used to getting their opponent's best effort over the past few weeks (leading to a few losses), so it must feel pretty good getting a team's absolute worst effort.

LEGION OF DOOM-W (7-1) v. CANT WAIT-L (4-4)   (LD: 190pts. - CW: 155pts.)
Adrian Peterson & Co. continue to roll for the Legion, and B** J****'s club has popped off seven straight after losing their season-opening matchup to the Bastard Mutants. Not sure when this team will lose their next game, as they're playing at a very high level on both sides of the ball. E***** S****** and his CANT WAIT club are going through a rough spot, but his situation is most certainly not damaged beyond repair. His Dallas Cowboys players played more like Dallas cowshit, so we may see a roster shakeup at the receiver position next week. Rob Ryan should really practice shutting his fat fucking face.

AK-47-W (3-5) -- *AUTOMATIC WIN*   (AK: 202pts.)
Even though AK-47 owner Adam had an *automatic win* this week (which was retroactively applied following Monday's announcement), he still put up an impressive performance with over 200 points to lead the league. Adam's early season woes could be contributed to the absence of Arian Foster because his club has put up a good amount of points the past two weeks since his return. Big opportunity next week for Adam to get his first peek inside the playoff picture if he can karate kick the shit out of my ninjas. How could CANT WAIT's E***** S****** think that the other team to watch out for this season was O********'s my ninjas?..really makes me question S******'s intelligence.

JACK D ROCKS-W (3-5) v. BASTARD MUTANTS-L (5-3)   (JDR: 179pts. - BM: 147pts.)
In the matchup with the most controversy surrounding it, S** C******* and his Jack D Rocks club pulled off a big upset and much-needed win over D** S*****'s Mutants. The necrophilic accusations placed upon the Bastard Mutants by C******* clearly rattled his opponent, and most especially quarterback Drew Brees. He has no doubt been able to perform at a high level in the past despite this apparent unwavering temptation of corpse booty, but maybe the public discovery of his (and his team's) disgusting tendencies was too much to handle this weekend. S***** can now see the headlights of Fox's PB Squad in his rearview, marking the first time this season where he may actually be concerned about losing his first round bye.

WEEK 9 MATCHUPS
PBvJDR (A big week for Fox can put him in second place, while C******* looks to go for two straight wins.)
TGvRR (Big matchup for two clubs who may be traveling in opposite directions.)
BMvCW (S****** playing another tough opponent, similar to what JDRocks went through the last two weeks. Will CANT WAIT pull off the upset like C*******?)
AKvMN (If this one gets out of hand, the league may have to meet to discuss the future of O********'s my ninjas.)
LD *automatic win*
 


-FaNasty News

 

Advertisement