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June 15, 2017

Can we trust society these days?

Honestly, there are only a few people we can trust these days; family, friends, and ghosts. If your family and friends have stayed loyal to you and have had your back up until now, chances are that will always be the case. Also, we can always count on ghosts being spooky and unassuming. Everyone else though is the reason why we can’t have nice things. It’s 2017 so here are 17 Types of People We Should Never Trust in Society.

  • 1- People who don’t know the difference between a butt-dial and a booty call (I just found out last year but AT LEAST I KNOW!)
  • 2-People who aren’t cool enough to be Twitter verified so they have an emoji next to their name (@tequilagurl69420 with a snowflake emoji: “I’m still awesome I swear”)
  • 3- People who tell you to turn to your left and go “No, your other left” (Why is this always so difficult?)
  • 4- People who first started watching Seinfeld this year (“I’ve been meaning to get into it!” “You had twenty years!”)
  • 5- People who put exclamation points after literally every sentence in a text or e-mail (“Are you really THAT excited to talk to me?!”)
  • 6- People who never use exclamation points in a text or e-mail (Lighten up a little. At least throw one in there and pretend like you are somewhat a decent person)
  • 7- People who turn down free events (“But dude, it’s FREE”. “I still can’t afford it!”)
  • 8- People who have dozens of empty water bottles on the floor of their car (The car drove thirty miles. You never see the car asking for a water break…)
  • 9- People who change the radio station when one of your songs comes on that you’re about to jam to (“I WISH THAT I HAD JESSIE’S——————“ We all know that person. We all hate that person)
  • 10- People who actually think orange Tic-Tacs are effective (They’re definitely not a mint and no one really identifies them as a go-to candy. What the hell are they?)
  • 11- Restaurants and stores that give us a token to use their bathroom (Do we really need one extra step before taking a dump?)
  • 12- People who pronounce Sherbet the way it’s spelled. (If you pronounce it Sherbet, your mind is black and white, and not the colorful concoction SherBERT is)
  • 13- The people at LinkedIn who thought it was a great idea to let all your friends know when your contact “learned a new skill”. I don’t care that Robert learned “Project Management”. Notify me when Robert learns “Solar Beam"…)
  • 14 - People who don’t lift their legs when they drive over railroad tracks (You know it’s obviously bad luck?) and people who don’t honk when they drive through tunnels (You do know that honking wards away evil spirits, right?)
  • 15 - Strangers that call you “Buddy”. (Have we ever gone hiking together? Watched football together? Played beer pong together?)
  • 16- The girl who friendzones you right as the apocalypse is happening. (Really?! Now?!)
  • 17- People in general (We just can’t trust society at all)