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July 09, 2015

Yesterday's series of events were a sure sign of the apocalypse and Stephen Colbert has jumped at the opportunity to lead our weary nation through these end days.

The New York Stock Exchange halted trading yesterday for nearly four hours due to a computer glitch. This coincided with United Airlines grounding flights, the Chinese market dipping dangerously low, and a disturbing video of a poodle walking on its hind legs.

For some this was reason to be suspicious. For Stephen Colbert it was reason to completely freak out.

Colbert immediately went into apocalypse mode and broadcasted this video from his underground bunker, supplied with essential equipment to get him through the next week or so.

Check out this video and stay safe out there, folks. Colbert sure as hell is.