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Stats & Data

December 09, 2011

A short list of stereotypical behavior patterns regarding various nationalities and ethnic groups throughout the world that nobody has ever bothered to believe, but perhaps should.


Turks are mediocre thumb-wrestlers.

Chechnyans are unbeatable at Capoeira. 

Apache men all name their penises “Clyde.”

Manxmen can’t stand Will Smith movies.

The Portuguese are utterly incompetent as property tax assessors.

Channel Islanders experience high anxiety when entering a submarine sandwich shop.

A disproportionate number of Slovakian women pursue careers in theatrical law.

American kids of Latvian or Finnish ancestry are not fond of plush toy squirrels. They find the fluffy tails frightening.

Peruvians have been known to needlessly delay updating their fire insurance.

Sephardic Jews enjoy crossword puzzles, but only on Wednesdays..

Mexicans are better Executive Producers of modestly-budgeted films adapted from the works of Emilio Salgari than Canadians.

Uzbeks tend to be apathetic when the conversation turns to favorite episodes of ADAM-12, though they do appear enthusiastic over any mention of BARETTA.

Kurds rarely keep ferrets or marmots as pets.

Zulus cheat at MahJong.

Every Belgian household has  picture of Henny Youngman in the kitchen.

Basques will order the large fries at a fast food restaurant and only eat two of the fries. This is an ancient religious practice that pays respect to their potato god.

Samoans are incapable of changing pillowcases. They hire Papuans to do it for them.

The economy of Papua New Guinea depends almost entirely on overseas remittance from Papuans working as pillowcase-changers in Samoa.

Ukrainians never adopted the crossbow, and to this day are incapable of operating them.

 All Kenyan fashion models are extremely well-educated because by law they must complete a PhD before they are allowed to work in that field.

Danes dislike Karaoke unless all participants are parrots.

When playing golf, Mongols carry a can of spray paint because they  associate golf with graffiti.

Aleutians despise pears and can become violent when given one as a gift.