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6 Funny Votes
9 Die Votes
842 Views
Published May 04, 2012

-Hey baby, what’s your sig?

-My name’s Richard. But you can call me R1(|-|4RD.

-Damn girl, you have more curves than my ergonomically-correct keyboard.

-So, do you come out into the real world often?

-Is that a diabolical terrorist group in your pants? Because I’m about to pull out my grenade and infiltrate that ass.

-If I said you had a beautiful body, would you let me simulate losing my virginity on it?

-You might recognize me as Zorbathor76, lead member of an ancient Draenei priesthood working with the Sha’tar to battle the demons of the Burning Legion.

-Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her that I’m actually talking to a real live girl.

-If you were a female gnome warlock, you would probably think I have a big dick.

-Come to my place and I’ll show you my “PlayStation”. And by “PlayStation,” I really do mean PlayStation.

-You must be getting carpal tunnel syndrome, because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

-That hooded cape and amulet would look great in a crumpled heap on my dungeon floor.

-It’s your lucky day. Out of all the wenches here, I picked you to talk to.

-You probably won’t believe this, but in real life I’m still a virgin.

-Is that a flintlock pistol in your leather bollock pouch or are you just happy to see me?

-Was your daddy a thief? Because if so, I need to pick him up in a Sentinel and deliver him to the Bitch’n Dog Food Factory to complete my mission and earn three thousand dollars.

-Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re one Angry Bird, which is why I dig you.

-You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me wish I wasn’t so socially-inept.

-Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven and I ninja-kicked you in the face?

-You can toggle my analog stick any time.

-Did you wash your pants with Windex? Because if you don’t mind, I’d like to borrow it to clean off my computer screen.

-I’m the one the Night Mother warned you about.

-I may be a n00b, but I’m the only one talking to you.

-Screw me if I’m wrong, but is your name Q*Bert?

 

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