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August 26, 2017
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Rant about dog haters in vators. Image courtesy Max Pixel. For more information about Hillel Groovatti, please visit www.groovatti.com.

Dog Haters in Vators

I was taking my dog to work on dog appreciation day. The upper parking lot was full, so I parked my car in the lower basement parking lot of the large office park that I work in, and then hopped into an empty elevator with my black lab, Coco, on a leash.

An older man got on with me and was immediately disgusted by the presence of my dog. He sneered, then said something under his breath and turned his shoulder to me.

“What’s that,” I said?

The man shot me a sideways glance and said, “Work is no place for a dog!”

“Why not?”

“They’re dirty and disgusting animals.”

“This dog is cleaner than your desk, I guarandamntee it,” I said.

“Look, animals are to be eaten, not befriended,” he said.

“Humans are animals, I guess you eat humans and don’t have any friends, do you?”

“Humans are advanced animals. I’d like to see that dog work a computer,” he said just as the elevator doors opened to the first floor.

As he rushed out of the elevator I yelled at him, “I’d like to see you lick your balls!”

The horde of early morning commuters getting on the elevator gave me the weirdest look.

Dog haters, I loathe ‘em!

Hillel Groovatti is the author of “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories”. For more information, please visit www.groovatti.com.

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