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February 25, 2017
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The Go to Question

You play any sports in high school?

I have noticed a trend with my generation, specifically with dudes, and that is when we meet new people we have a “Go to question.” There’s the standard asking what the person’s name is, where they are from, what they do for work, etc. Meanwhile we don’t give a shit about what the person is saying. Our mindset is so removed from the conversation we barely retain anything. However, we know we gotta keep the conversation going and that is when we rely on our, “Go to question.” That being, “Yo man, you play any sports in high school?”

Now if I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that question, I would probably have enough money to take a girl to a nice seafood dinner at the Red Lobster down the street. The thing that has me thinking though is, has this been a question people have asked for years and I have just picked up on it? I understood it being asked during freshman year of college, but I am 23 years old now and continue running into this, “Go to question.” What are you going to get from my answer of, “Yeah man, I played football and hockey, in high school?” Are you going to take away from it that I enjoy exercise because that’s a lie. I fucking hate exercising. I’m at the point in my life that my only form of exercise is to walk to the bathroom at work and heading out to my car. Honestly, I think most days I walk under a mile and I can’t even remember my last doctor’s appointment. I should probably address the latter though.

Do you think that I am tough guy/hardo because I played football and hockey because that too is a lie. People hear football and hockey they’re like, “Whoa, I wouldn’t want to mess with that guy.” That is when I tell them that I am actually softer than a pile of stuffing. I hate confrontations. A waitress at a restaurant could give me the wrong dish along with an ingredient I am allergic to and when she asks me how my meal is I’d tell her it is delicious and still leave a great tip. So yeah, don’t look too deep into the fact I played football and hockey and if I have a kid one day, I am only letting him play football as a punter and hope he goes to the NFL. If people give him a tough time for it, I’m just going to tell him to respond with……nothing, because as I mentioned I hate confrontations and that he’s just gotta roll with the punches.

Getting back to the point of this article, I just want to know is this a question I am going to be asked for the remainder of my life? Am I going to be 70 years old one day and someone is going to ask me this and I’ll have to respond with, “Yeah, I played sports in high school… six decades ago.” If that is the case, I just need to know and honestly I am a hypocrite because the next person I meet I’ll probably rely on the “Go to question…You play any sports in high school?”

The Kid B

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