Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
16
Views
September 25, 2014
Published
Description

This should calm everyone down.

If you were wondering what the Ferguson police chief has been up to in the six weeks since Michael Brown’s death - why he’s appeared so rarely, why he’s provided information about the case as reluctantly as a leprechaun gives up Lucky Charms - wonder no more: Chief Jackson has been busy crafting this apology.

Reading from a statement that he no doubt first drafted in the hours after Michael Brown’s death on August 9th, and has been carefully polishing ever since, Chief Jackson apologized to Michael Brown’s parents and to the people of Ferguson. “I’m truly sorry for the loss of your son. I’m also sorry that it took so long to remove Michael from the street,” he said.

Jackson also apologized to protesters for the heavy-handed police response. "The right of the people to peacefully assemble is what the police are here to protect. If anyone who was peacefully exercising that right is upset and angry, I feel responsible and I’m sorry,” he said.

I don’t think anyone feels that way, Chief. I bet they just feel sheepish that they protested at all instead of waiting patiently for this apology to drop.

Advertisement