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March 02, 2017

His steak order actually speaks to some of his "bov-iner" qualities.

It came out this week that President Donald J. Trump likes his steaks cooked well-done and slathered in ketchup.


Is Trump savoring that steak or just the sweet taste of success?!

We don’t know what two words are making our mouths water more: “steak” and “ketchup” or “President” and “Trump.”

To most of us DEPLORABLES (AKA REAL Americans), this bite of gourmet gossip was just a fun little tidbit about how our new Commander-in-“Beef” likes to chow down.


Trump likes his steaks like Hillary at a Benghazi hearing - grilled for hours!

But just like when Trump was overheard having an innocent lil’ chit chat about how he likes to latch onto a woman’s genitals without their consent, a small sliver of CRY BABIES LEFTIES went and tried to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

These Lib-tards think that the way Trump orders a steak says something about his intelligence and maturity? What’s next? Trump’s obsession with his hand size reveals a deep-seeded inferiority complex that manifests itself in an often delusional obsession with the appearance of success? Yeah, right! Save it for the looney bin, ya cuck quack!


Great “diagnosis” there, “Doc!” Where’d you get your degree? Bong State University?

We’re sorry that Trump isn’t some artsy-fartsy hipster who has the time to fret about how hot he wants his little piece of totally organic, all-tofu-fed steak brought to him. We don’t know if you’ve seen the news lately, but he’s a little busy getting Native American protest camps burned down and trying to keep trans kids from going to the bathroom at school.


“I can’t have a job because it takes me four hours to make coffee.”

And it’s not just that how President Trump likes to munch his moo-ers is none of your beeswax, but his preference for pink-less patties actually speaks to some of Trump’s “bov-iner” qualities.

For one, a man who likes his meat gray and dry is a man who doesn’t like anything done half-way. So, when Trump says he’s gonna build a wall, you know he’s gonna go and build that wall! No matter how many billions of dollars it will cost, what diplomatic relationships it ruins, or how few people it keeps out. A promise is a promise!

But then these coastal SNOBS say that Trump has probably been eating his steak this way since he was a child. Is that supposed to be a knock?! The fact that Trump still orders off of the Kid’s Menu shows that he is a man of conviction, not some foodie flip-flopper. Isn’t it comforting to have a man in the White House with the same simple beliefs and ideas he had when there were still soft spots in his skull?


Another POTUS in the making!

And did you ever think that maybe Trump wants his rumps served rock-hard so he can continue to serve THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. If Trump went for rare, we run the risk of having the Leader of the Free World keel over from E. Coli. Who would tell us which religions to ban? Who would tell us which media sources to trust and which are FAKE NEWS? Who is going to OPEN UP THE MINES?!?!


Forget food-borne illness: this country’s crap-o deals already make Trump sick enough!

“But what about the ketchup?” sob all the SNOWFLAKES through their thick streams of LIBERAL TEARS. “We want a President who dips his steak in dainty little French sauces!” Sorry Demo-CRAPS, but the rest of us are A-OK with a guy who drowns his flesh in USA tomato sugar because AMERICA FIRST!


Let freedom POUR!

It’s gonna take a strong and steady leader to put out the flaming bag of shit that Barack HUSSEIN Obama turned this country into. And whether it’s scorched cow meat or pissy sex kinks, it’s good to know that we’ve got ourselves a POTUS who knows what he likes!