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September 01, 2008


Labor Day!!!

I live in the resort town of Rehoboth Beach, DE (no Delaware jokes, please).

Every year on this day, hundreds of thousands of people pack up and evacuate faster than if they were running from a hurricaine. They try to leave early to beat the traffic, they try to leave late to beat the traffic, but they all end up sitting on Coastal Highway with full bladders and empty gas tanks.

The only reason i waste your time with this is to try and relate the sense of relief this brings me.

It's like having 14 dildos shoved up your ass for three straight months, and finally having them removed.

If you live in a place with lots of traffic and ever daydreamed of how nice it would be if you were the only car on the road, and actually having that happen.

It's like escaping from prison.

It's like sharing a house with the Olson twins, Roseanne, Rocky Balboa, Kim Catrall, Rosie O'Donnell, and an entire school full of semi illiterate mongoloid brats, and having them all excuse themselves at exactly the same time.

I don't know what Labor Day is actually about, but I know what it means for me.

Goodbye Motherfuckers, Goodbye.