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Published July 08, 2008

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and all i can see is her.

no, that's a lie, it doesn't matter what time of day i'm awake, i'm thinking of her.

there was no romantic first kiss. there was no world shaking multi-orgasmic lovemaking. there wasn't even hand holding.

and perhaps, that is the problem.

i knew there was a spark, i knew it was something special...and i did nothing.


i could see in her eyes, she wanted me...and i did nothing.

thought that i could hold that spark without taking off her pants...i was wrong

but my unrequited longing has left me wanting 

and for the first time it's my fault 

i could deal with that...if i wasn't the only one blaming me.

everyone but her says i did things honorably...she says nothing

everyone but her says i made the right choice...she says nothing

everyone but her makes me feel weak and small...she feels...i have no idea how she feels


and now, i never will.


love is something none of us can escape, but regret can be avoided.

i had never known regret...

i'll still wake up in the middle of the night, but i'll never really see her face.

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