sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and all i can see is her.
no, that's a lie, it doesn't matter what time of day i'm awake, i'm thinking of her.
there was no romantic first kiss. there was no world shaking multi-orgasmic lovemaking. there wasn't even hand holding.
and perhaps, that is the problem.
i knew there was a spark, i knew it was something special...and i did nothing.
i could see in her eyes, she wanted me...and i did nothing.
thought that i could hold that spark without taking off her pants...i was wrong
but my unrequited longing has left me wanting
and for the first time it's my fault
i could deal with that...if i wasn't the only one blaming me.
everyone but her says i did things honorably...she says nothing
everyone but her says i made the right choice...she says nothing
everyone but her makes me feel weak and small...she feels...i have no idea how she feels
and now, i never will.
love is something none of us can escape, but regret can be avoided.
i had never known regret...
i'll still wake up in the middle of the night, but i'll never really see her face.