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4 Funny Votes
3 Die Votes
612 Views
Published January 23, 2009
So I was talking to one of my boys earlier and we were discussing alchemy. Not superstar Hip Hop producer The Alchemist, but the real thing. As the convo turned to chemical burns we found out we shared another common bond: Accidental Scrotal Abuse.

It turns out that when my boy Adam was a young lad he decided to play with the Icy Hot. I'll wait for you to stop laughing and or grimacing(fuck. now I want McDonald's). As his father saw this he sternly warned him to not play with it but neglected to take it away from him. I think it's because he could sense that this was going to turn out to be hilarious in that "I'll be a good parent by letting your hardheaded ass learn the hard way.......and why not get some good laughs because I can see where this is going" ! So Adam gets to doing his thing and scooping and laughing and rubbing when things go from good to bad. He automatically goes for the little kid "what's this" self dick touch and that's when the smile leaves his face. He's burning like never before and apparently his dad is howling and rushing him to the shower! Now I was already laughing but when he told me he wipe a huge globule right over his dickhole I start crying! It was one of the funniest stories I had ever heard!

So I relayed my nutsack chemical burn story to him as I will you.

I like to shave my genitals. It feels good. It looks good. And any man that does this knows what a time consuming hassle it can be. ESPECIALLY when you get to the actual balls! It can take like 3/4 of a fucking hour to get it all done properly, but it's worth it. Nothing feels better than having a turtleshell down there(your nuts feeling like a turtleshell,not beastiality). But it can get tedious. So I've taken to using Nair. I'll hold while you laugh and or grimace(dammit! now I've GOT to go to McDonald's). So on not one but TWO occasions I've left the Nair on a little long and burned my balls so badly that  #1 it felt like I had a hole in my sackage and on #2(which happened only a month ago) I had an inch and a half long welt for about 4 days! It was not pleasant. But dammit..........I was so smooth down there it felt like I was wearing a bald cap on my nuts!
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