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April 06, 2016

Comedian and recently self-appointed film critic, Brad Wenzel raves and scathes about The Martian.

The Martian (2015)


Missing: Astronaut
Reward: $200? More? This has never happened before.

Brad Wenzel Raves:

Those control rooms get out of control. The Martian has plenty of high fives.

Matt Damon plays Mark Watney, an astronaut who is accidentally left behind on a mission to Mars. Macaulay Culkin was also considered for the role, but taking the Home Alone franchise to space was ultimately seen as too far of a stretch.

Watney grows potatoes on Mars. Nice.

Jeff Daniels shows his true range as an actor in this film. He follows up his performance in Dumb and Dumber To by playing the head of NASA. From really dumb to really smart, the guy can do it all.

This film has a positive message about international relations. The U.S. works with China in an attempt to bring Watney back from Mars. Russia briefly considers a rescue mission for those delicious potatoes.

Inspirational. Watney’s crew chooses to go back to rescue him. They feel terrible for leaving him on Mars and there are just zero Ubers out there.

Brad Wenzel Scathes:

At some points, The Martian hits a little on the nose emotionally. One of the most heart-wrenching scenes in the film is when Mark realizes his only companion, a volleyball named Wilson is floating away into deep space.

Discovering water on Mars just to promote a movie seemed like a bit much. Matt Damon is a pretty big star, people knew about the movie.

The ending is a bit of a cliffhanger. The audience is left to decide for themselves exactly how much pussy Watney crushes after returning to Earth. My guess… So much.

Brad Wenzel Rates It: Five Stars?

*originally published October 3, 2015
Brad Wenzel is a comedian. Follow him on twitter: @BradWenzel