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Published March 12, 2012 More Info »
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Published March 12, 2012

 

Kardashiants

 
Okay - now that we're done with that boring oil price crap - back to our new category - Insects.


In our last post we featured the narcotic consuming beetle - the Rush Limbug. We now move on to one of the more attractive insects in the entomology field - the Kardashi Ant.


The Kardashi Ant, although limited in raw numbers, is one of the most visible insects in the entomology kingdom. It is everywhere.







As seen below, The Kardashi Ant (in Latin: Kardashiassmax) has three basic variations:
 

As illustrated, the three versions of the Kardashi Ant are very similar in appearance. Entomological experts speculate that this is the result of a scientific phenomenon referred to as genetic mimicking. Basically, as one  genre of the Ant demonstrates a successful mutation, the other Kardashi Ants follow suit. This not only relates to the evolving physical traits of the Kardashi Ant, it also applies to the ants' behavioral patterns (e.g., mating habits, etc.) as well. Because of this cross evolution and mutation, scientist believe at some point in the future the three versions of the Kardashi Ant will become indistinguishable.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

The first thing you will notice is that the large gastor (i.e., rear) portion of the Kardashi Ant is considerably larger and more well rounded than the traditional ant. It is used as a method of attracting mates (more on the mating habits of the Kardashi Ant later).

The Kardashi Ant is also noted for it's smooth velvety skin and extraordinarily long legs.

FOOD SOURCE

The Kardashi Ant's survival is partially rooted in its' adaptability to food sources. Like traditional ants, in its' early formation the Kardashi Ant feasted on fruits, green leaves and dead insects. As these food sources became scarce, particularly in urban settings, the Kardashi Ant developed the ability to also digest and live off of man-made products such as perfume, silk and money. The anatomy of the Kardashi Ant has evolved to enable the insect to store these products in the large gastor region for digestion at any point needed.

DEFENSE AND PREDATORY MECHANISMS


Kardashi Ants are virtually everywhere and it is nearly impossible to look anywhere and not see one. This is due to their remarkable defense mechanisms.

As mentioned above, when compared to other in the species, the Kardashi Ant has extraordinarily long legs. This characteristic enables it to travel at an extremely fast pace. As a result, they are rarely captured by prey. In their early observation of this trait, Scientists coined a phrase that has now become part of the popular lexicon - Keeping Up With the Kardashi Ants. 

Even in rare instances where they are captured, at last to date, their has been no evidence that anything can eradicate a Kardashi Ant. When exposed to any toxin, the Kardashi Ant has the ability to emit a perfume like substance (Sephora odoraramus) stored in their gastor regions. In the late 1990s, Doctor Whizdumb (pictured here) conducted a series of experiments which involved encasing the Kardashi Ants and exposing them to all known pesticides.  Remarkably, the Kardashi Ants' emission Sephora odoraramus) effectively blocked the toxins from reaching the Kardashi Ant.


MATING HABITS


The female Kardashi Ant always selects the male partner. As part of its' survival technique, male ants are often selected based on either their agility and fitness and/or the amount of food products they have accumulated for their prospective mate.

Although scientists believe that the Kardashi Ant mate frequently, there is little scientific evidence of the actual act. However, in 2007, Dr. Ray Jay did produce a rare video of the Kardashi Ant mating ritual. The video went viral on the Internet before being removed for copyright purposes. All that is left are grainy, poor quality still shots. Despite the lack of scientific merit these photos lack, they are still amazingly popular amongst almost all entomologists.


As a final note, the Kardashi Ant mates for life. However, immediately after the mating ritual is completed, the female Kardashi Ant devours the male - so, in this case life is fleeting.


HABITAT

In North America, especially in urban settings, the Kardashi Ants have become the most prominent ant. This phenomenon was caused by the fact that, unlike ordinary ants, the Kardashi Ant has a unique sensitivity towards lights causing them to be attracted to the LED lights now common in most flat screen televisions. This has resulted in an infestation in many American households.

The lights not only attract the Kardashi Ants, they also act as a prophylactic in that in strengthens the Kardashi Ant's immune system. They are so prevalent now that in most American households in is becoming increasingly impossible to watch television without experiencing some infestation of the Kardashi Ants. This can become particularly irritating during important news stories.


Although, it is easy to be critical of the Kardashi Ant, I, like many Americans, find myself inexplicably attracted to them and can't seem to get enough information. Like the Scientists say - I guess even though it is impossible, one must try to Keep Up With the Kardashi 

 

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