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Published May 17, 2013 More Info »
97 Funny Votes
109 Die Votes
Published May 17, 2013
1. Buy FIFA and Major League Soccer because might as well. 2. Learn to play guitar and join a band so he can meet some chicks. 3. Count how many articles used the headline “End it like Beckham” after his announcement. 4. Start a new religion, achieve God-level status, and then join a different religion. Repeat. 5. Get to know these “Victoria and the kids” people he keeps hearing about. 6. Practice his free-kicks. 7. Use Kickstarter to raise enough money to self-publish his collection of David Beckham graphic fan fiction. 8. Develop an alter-ego: Dave Wiggam, amateur cartoonist and rare stuffed animal collector. 9. Finally get around to watching Bend it Like Beckham. 10. Thank God a couple more times.