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April 30, 2016
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Misra Al-Kasfati, the 102 year-old Guantanamo Bay inmate was found by a high court to 'still pose a danger to the community at large' and will remain in prison for at least another 8 years, reports the Gitmo Gazette.

Guantanamo Bay, CUBA - Misra Al-Kasfati, the 102 year-old Guantanamo Bay inmate was found by a high court to ‘still pose a danger to the community at large’ and will remain in prison for at least another 8 years, reports the Gitmo Gazette.

While officials claim Al-Kasfati still represents a grave threat, advocates of the terrorist leader claim that the feeble old man should be released to die in the home of his family as per Muslim tradition. The CIA and other U.S. agencies do not share the same opinion and say they will hold Al-Kasfati for as long as he remains a danger or at least until he gives up a few more juicy secrets they can use to catch other bad guys.

The Gitmo Gazette was able to get an unprecedented interview with Misra Al-Kadfati where he remains a harsh critic of his captors and the West as a whole. “This is complete bullshit”, he said in one of the many interviews he gave. “They say I’m a threat. How? I don’t have any more contacts from my days of terrorism. I don’t even have any more teeth for God’s sake! What am I going to do? Gum the infidel to death? I’m an old man. Let me die in peace.”

While some claim that Al-Kasfati is no more a threat than, let’s say, a mild mannered Yorkie, others maintain that he still has deep ties to the terrorist community and has enough information to crush terrorism as we know it. So far, no attempt has been made to torture Al-Kasfati because he’s just too damn old and his captors can’t bring themselves to apply what’s known enhanced interrogation techniques, or EIT’s on him because he reminds many of them of their grandfather or great uncle.

For now, Misra Al-Kasfati will remain one of the last holdouts of Guantanamo Bay and no one can say for sure what he knows or what he doesn’t know. For the time being, Al-Kasfati will remain in his one-man cell eating corn that has already been pre cut from the cob and listening to Sting on cassette tape.

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