We’ve all been there. Swapping spit with some hot number you either met at the bar or have a deep emotional relationship with, things are going great, then BANG! An Adele song comes on and the mood is gonezo. Both of you release lips, say “umm, mood killer much?” to each other kind of laughing but hiding the immense truth of that statement, and then drop your eyes as you think about the fragility of what you’re doing. Both in that moment and in the life you live as a whole. And just like that, Adele has just ruined another killer make-out session.
In honor of yet another bummer Adele song being birthed into the world with the release of “Hello” today, here are five times an Adele song has ruined a killer make-out session.
Nov. 10, 2012
Song: “Someone Like You”
Participants: Two thirty-somethings, David and Amy.
Situation: David was pumped to check out new downtown hotspot, Lime Bar, after going to the same old bars in town every Saturday. Amy got dragged out by her gal pals after breaking up with that dick, Brian. Five drinks into the night they struck up a conversation about how “Garfield was weird” and, before they knew it, the make out was reaching peak tongue when “Someone Like You” came on the jukebox.
Despite some extra effort from David’s roaming hands, Amy had to break away and turn her head. She cried thinking about Brian and how he used to “surprise” her with pad thai every Tuesday night (even though he did it EVERY Tuesday night). Amy called Brian who was already standing in the rain outside of the bar waiting for her to come to her senses. She left and married Brian while David bought some Doritos on his way home and fell asleep in his recliner.
July 8, 2014
Song: “Chasing Pavements”
Participants: Jamie and Mike
Situation: Jamie and Mike had been married for just four months when Jamie suddenly had to move to Paris for his job. After six months in Paris, Jamie was transferred and showed up at home where Mike was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. They kissed each other tenderly at first and then really started full-on make-out-touching soon after. Just as the newlyweds were unbuttoning each others’ shirts “Chasing Pavements" started playing on the radio and the two had to stop and feel the song’s message as they started crying, not believing how lucky they were to find each other.
Then Jamie did a little dance move as a goof but threw out his back and they had to go to the hospital.
May 9, 2009
Song: “Right As Rain”
Participants: Geoff, 20, and Suzanne, 45.
Situation: Suzanne was fresh out of a failed nine years of marriage and Geoff was out of college and still had pimples on his chin. That didn’t stop the two from at first jokingly dancing together at a wedding upstate. As the joke-dancing turned handsy and eventually into slow dancing with a tenderness that surprised them both. As each could feel the other pressing their body closer and holding tighter, Geoff, feeling a surge of confidence from his second time ever being drunk, leaned his head back slightly to line up a kiss and Suzanne leaned in. Their multigenerational lips melted into each others, both hot with uncertainty and excitement, for the last minute-and-a-half of “Lady In Red.”
That’s when the wedding DJ switched to Adele’s “Right As Rain.” It was the father-and-bride dance song and they were doing a choreographed dance, so Geoff and Suzanne had to stop kissing and leave the dance floor. Each had a second to think about what they just did in front of their family and friends, got embarrassed, and never looked at each other again.
April 20, 2014
Song: “Set Fire To The Rain”
Participants: Beyoncé and Jay Z
Situation: Beyoncé and Jay Z were on the leather couch in their living room having a really great make out and “Set Fire To The Rain” came on their mix and Beyoncé was like, “Ummmm, this must be our 2011 make-out mix” and then Blue Ivy woke up and started crying and that was that.
Jay Z was pissed because he loves making out and Beyoncé was pissed too because she thinks Jay Z kisses better than anyone she’s ever kissed.
Situation: I was watching these two old gross drunk people make out for a few minutes on the subway platform and then remembered Adele released her new song so I listened to that and stopped watching the gross old people. Honestly they were making me a little sick and the new Adele song helped a lot.