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April 10, 2011

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The Rogers Fat Solution System

Are you like me in that you are slender, beautiful, and well-accepted? Well then my system is perfect for you. I developed this system back in 2010 when I too was a blimp. I had recently taken a cooking class in haute cuisine, and was making delicious-ass recipes based entirely on the use of real butter, and the food was irresistible. But then I took a cooking class in Chinese food, which is gross and I never finished a plate let alone went back for seconds, and I thought Bingo! Rogers, you got it! I ate less and shed 620 pounds (results not typical).
Rogers Fat Solution System is built on one simple fact: we hate gross food. This is not a diet! This is a proven system to make you more beautiful for your school reunion, wedding, or gym visits. The investment is obvious because losing weight will likely attract you a mate with more money. Below are just a sample of some of the recipes included in your beginners kit:

Haggis Stew

Stomach bag
4 cups water
1 32oz. box sea salt
3 stalks Fennel, chopped
1 large tomato, whole

Bring the salt and water to a rolling boil. Stuff the stomach bag with chopped fennel and tomato, place in boiling water. Boil for 1 minute. Squeeze the vegetables and whatever else comes out back into the water, then turn the bag inside out. Scrape the walls of the bag with a bag knife. Return bag to water, boiling for 20 minutes. Serve hot, reserving the tomato for the man of the house. Garnish with lemon wedges.

Fennel Stems

3 Fennel stalks, whole

Steam fennel stalks in a bamboo steamer for 20 minutes, then cool in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. Sprinkle with salt just before serving. Garnish with long cut chewing tobacco.

Kebbeh Nayyeh and Brussel Sprouts

2 lbs. lean beef chuck, ground
1 lb. raw brussel sprout, imported
1 large onion, halved
3 to 10 oz. bulgur wheat

Soak bulgur in enough water to cover, overnight. Drain the wheat, and chop with chuck and brussel sprouts. Smear over onion halves, and serve immediately to prevent spoilage. Garnish with fennel stalks.

Beef Heart Au Gratin

1 heart, cow
apple cider vinegar
cooking spray
bacon fat
1 to 2 oz. skim milk cheese
Enough oregano for a 30 min. sprinkle

Preheat oven to 650 degrees. Rinse beef heart in cold water and cut lengthwise with enormous steal scissors. Simmer for 20 min. in apple cider vinegar or if not in season, milk. Grease a 9x9in. cooking tray with cooking spray, and place heart in two neat rows of heart. Top sparingly with cheese, then bake for 3hrs. and 50min., turning once towards the end. Remove from oven and braise in sauce pan with bacon fat for 30 min, sprinkling continuously with oregano. Return to baking tray, and bake for an additional 3 hrs. 50min. Serve immediately with ice water dipping sauce. Serves 8.

Ice Water Dipping Sauce
1 cup water
6 oz. ice, whole
Salt to taste
Chop ice in an electric ice chopper. Salt chopped ice to taste. Add ice to water. Let marinate in refrigerator until ready to serve. Garnish with fennel. Serves 7.

It is a good idea to exercise, but not if you don't want to. Remember, this is not a diet! This is a system that's proven and that works and will work for you and will prove to you that it works. If you don't believe me, take just these recipes and eat them for 2 days. If you don't lose at least 100 lbs., you can give them right back because you're not a dedicated loser like me.

Now including more tips, like:
Do you like to dip your chips in sour cream like I used to before I was beautiful? Well check this out why don't ya- Sour cream has 60 calories per serving while light margarine has only 50. That means that if you ate 8 tubs per day every day for a year, you'd cut 876,000 calories from your diet! If one pound is 3500 calories, that's 250 pounds you lost. Think of this... if you weigh 230 lbs., you will weigh -20 lbs., and that's weight you can put in the bank!
Don't trust me, trust math!Ò
Rogers Elite! Pro Fat System
Upgrade now to Elite! Pro and you will get not two, but 3 vitamin supplements. That's right, you will get pills containing vitamins b, c, AND a! That's 33% more vitamin than the Beginners pack! Hurry!

Bonus! For one extra secret recipe, highlight the space below and change the font color to black to find a hidden free recipe!
Chinese Food

1 package acrobat noodles
about 16 Chinese Spice cubes
2 broccoli or 1 broccolus if you prefer
1 can bamboo
Vegetable oil

Heat the oil in a wok or, if you avoid stereotypes, a big pan. Cook the broccoli and bamboo until tender, about one hour. If the vegetables appear dry, add lots of water, maybe two quarts, otherwise don't. Stir in acrobat noodles, cook until tender, about one hour. If this detenderizes the broccoli, cook an additional hour, then test to see what's tender and what's not. Add some sauce. Top with cubes of spice before serving. Eat with chopsticks or sticks.
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