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December 30, 2008
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Ladies and Gentlemen.... Welcome to America's Best New Gameshow.....

Give me a Cookie, or Kick me in the Junk!!!

I'm Chet Whetwilly.... Let's meet our contestant!!

He's an office manager from the Detroit area, who drinks a ton of beer, and uses up precious bandwidth on Funnyordie.com.... Kenny G.

Hi Ken.

Hi Chet.

Ready to play?

Yes I am.

The rules are simple: I ask a question, you answer. If you get it right, you get a cookie... But if you get it wrong...

"Kick in the Junk!!!"

That's right Audience.... here we go!!!

Question One:  How do you spell "Cat"?

... C....A....T.....

Ooooh... incorrect... Kick in the Junk!!!

*Thump*.... Yelp.....

No... the correct spelling is: S..U..B..M..A..R..I..N..E...

But... that spells submarine....

No Ken... it's "Cat"... Question 2: In the 2008 Presidential election.... Who won the Presidency of the United States of America?

..... Barrack Obama....???

Nope! Kick in the Junk!!

*THUMP*

Ow dear God that hurts.... What's wrong with you people??

I'm sorry Ken.... The correct answer is "Yoda"..... "Yoda".....

But... I saw it... It's Obama!!!

Nope... Card says Yoda... you get a.... Kick in the Junk!!!

*THUMP*...

Sweet Merciful Odin... Stop kicking me.... I hope to have children some day....

Oh, Come now Ken... after seeing that picture of Dave's ass on his caption blog... you're more sterile than a Hospital Birth Ward....

Question 3: What is the sum of 1 and 1, otherwise written as 1+1=__?

...... I don't want to play anymore.....

Sorry Kenny... You have to answer all the questions.....

.... How many questions are there??

There are 223 questions.

223!?!?!

Oooh.. I'm sorry.... 1+1 does not equal 223... it's 2... Kick in the Junk!!!

But that wasn't my answ..*THUMP!!!*.......... *sob*... i want my mommy.....

[ 219 incorrect answers.... and 219 malicious genital strikes... later]

Well Kenny... One Question left... no cookies..... How ya feeling??

............. *cough*.... *sob*..... *wimper*.....

Ok, that's great..... Final Question: Finish this popular Gameshow name---- "Give me a Cookie, or _____________??

......... please..... no....... *sob*....

I need an answer Kenny.....

......... "Kick me in the Junk"....??

You heard him boys..... *THUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*......... *crumple*..... *twitch*.... *twitch*......

Well.... There you have it folks.... 4219 episodes... not one cookie awarded....

Join us next week on: "Give me a Cookie, or........"

"Kick me in the Junk!!!!"

Goodnight everybody.....

................ Typed on a Dell.... Inspired, by beer. :-)

- Kenny G.

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