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January 19, 2012

Manly lines spoken by manly men

We all love manly films. We all love manly lines. We all love manly men. So here is the manliest lines delivered by the manliest men in the manliest of movies. 15 lines that would break the back of lesser men. So im going to stop talking about manly men before my therapist has a sit down with.


Film: Apocalypse Now

Actor: Robert Duvall

Line: If I say its safe to surf this beach, Captain, then its safe to surf this beach! I mean, I'm not afraid to surf this place, I'll surf this whole fucking place!

It's the fucking vietnam war. Abosolute chaos but Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore don't give a shit. He want's to surf and come hell or high water he is going to surf.


Film: Dark Blue

Actor: Kurt Russell

Line: You really think this bullet gives a shit how tough you are, big guy?

Eldon Perry Jr. is a white detective working in LA during the riots. Sure he's racist, a bit rough around the edges and a little blue but when it's all on the line, he is the one you want on your side.


Film: Outlaw Josey Wales

Actor: Clint Eastwood

Line: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

Josey Wales. The Outlaw. The Gunslingler. The Bad Ass. This tobacco chewin son of a bitch was a man you never wanted to come across out west. And if you were a dog there was a good chance he would spit on your head. Josey Wales don't give a fuck.


Film: Casino

Actor: Joe Pesci

Line: Listen to me Anthony. I got your head in a fuckin' vise. I'll squash your head like a fuckin' grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Don't make me have to do this, please. Don't make me be a bad guy, come on.

Joe Pesci is the baddest man under 5 feet tall and his character Nicky never fails to impress. He is nothing short of physco. Which makes you wonder if it was a major plot hole that De Niro's character would work with someone and trust them with that kind of personality. Yea im going to go ahead and call that a plot hole.


Film: Snatch

Actor: Vinne Jones

Line: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins. Unlike yours, Mullet.

Im going to step out on a limb here and say Vinnie Jones is probably as unhinged in real life as his character Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch. Bullet Tooth Tony was shot much like 50 cent in this film, but unlike that pussy, Tony doesn't need to constantly remind people.


Film: Saving Private Ryan

Actor: Barry Pepper

Line: What I mean by that, sir, is if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... Pack your bags, fellas. War's over. Amen.

Private Jackson may be the best sniper ever. Fuck you it's true. The man say's a bible verse as he shoot's hot lead directly into your heart. And if Private Jackson had really fought in real life, im pretty damn sure he would have ended the war.


Film: From Dusk til Dawn

Actor: George Clooney

Line: If you try to run, I've got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.

George Clooney before he was George Clooney. He may even be his sexiest in this. Seth Gecko lay's down the law and you better fucking listen.


Film: Point Break

Actor: Gary Busey

Line:  ...last time you had a feeling I had to kill a guy, and I hate that... It looks bad on my report.

It's Gary Busey. I don't have to explain.


Film: Full Metal Jacket

Actor: Matthew Modine

Line: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

War is hell. I've never been but i've had friends go. The movie emerse's you into what war must be like. Private Joker is nothing short of an enigma. A peace sign on one side, born to kill on the other. May god have mercy on his fucked up soul.


Film: Pulp Fiction

Actor: Sam Jackson

Line: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

The absolute most badass bible scripture ever. Well it's not exactly like it's written in the bible but it's close enough. If this doesn't send chills down your spine then your a spineless fuck wad. Sorry that was uncalled for.


Film: Die Hard

Actor: Bruce Willis

Line: You motherfucker, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna fuckin' cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!

I didn't want to go with the obvious yippie ki yay motherfucker line. I went with the most vicious line in the film when Bruce Willis is fighting that huge german fucker. I honestly felt like Bruce was going to cook him. That would have been awesome im not going to lie.


Film: Reservoir Dogs

Actor: Michael Madsen

Line: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?

Mr. Blonde. The most ruthless of the dogs. He's a fucking lunatic that's a cool as a block of ice. He cut a man's Fucking EAR OFF and it didnt even get his blood pressure up.


Film: Road House

Actor: Patrick Swayze

Line: Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone.

The greatest bouncer ever. Dalton played by the one and only Patrick Swayze. Im pretty sure alot women gave it up after watching this film. Can you blame em? The Swayze was oozing sexuality and threating to break some fucking skulls!


Film: Heartbreak Ridge

Actor: Clint Eastwood

Line: My name's Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together.

The ultimate marine, Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway. This man defines the core. He love's fighting, fucking and killing and i cant fucking blame him. Semper Fi you tough son of a bitch!


Film: Predator

Actor: Jesse Ventura

Line: Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me

It's tough to beat out anything Clint Eastwood has done but Jesse Ventura did it. This is the manliest line ever. Yea Jesse Ventura is insane but this line he delivered will stick with me for life. Im not exactly sure what a Sexual Tyrannosaurus is but id give my left nut to be one.


Well I hope you guys enjoyed this. I did. I enjoyed it like late night drunken sex. I hope you all realize if you think you hear a manly line, refer to this list first, it's got some fucking competition.