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September 28, 2015
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It's been a while for these two chums. Here are some topics they can chit chat about before discussing ISIS.

President Obama is sitting down to chat with Vladmir Putin on Monday after the UN General Assembly meeting. The two leaders haven’t met with one another in over a year and are expected to discuss Syria’s civil war and Russia’s efforts to fight ISIS.
That’s pretty heavy stuff IMHO. It’s necessary to talk about, of course, but there is no way the two buds (not sure if that’s what they consider themselves to be?) can jump into that as soon as they sit down. They have to make some informal chit chat before tackling ISIS. So here are some topics either leader can use to help ease the conversation from 0 to 100.

Talking Points for Obama

  • Have you been working out shirtless? You look great.
  • How is the weather in Russia?
  • I see you’ve picked up riding bears. That is insane.
  • You ought to try the new Momofuku fried chicken sandwich place. I’ve heard great things.
  • Have you thought about not persecuting homosexuals? We’ve had a great experience giving them basic human rights in this country.

Talking Points for Putin

  • Why aren’t people as excited to see me as they were the Pope?
  • That Kim Davis princess is good. Is she looking for employment?
  • Where is the nearest zoo? I heard the Bronx zoo is nice. Is it hunting season there?
  • I can’t believe you invited that clock boy to the White House. I hate children.
  • Do you like my shirt? I’d rather not be wearing it to be honest.
  • You should start working out shirtless. I look great doing it.
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