After the tragedy of the Orlando mass shooting, the United States Senate held a vote to pass sensible gun control laws, failing to pass any of four proposed amendments in a vote on Monday. The following 56 Senators voted to defeat the measures, and also not coincidentally receive A ratings and monetary donations from the NRA. Also, they all have posters of babes holding guns.
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) received $1,261,874 from the NRA. He has not one but five posters of babes holding guns in his office.
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) received $7,740,221 from the NRA. He keeps his babe with a gun poster directly over his computer screen, so he doesn’t have to read news stories about what the family members of victims of mass shootings think about his voting record in the pocket of the NRA.
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) received $2,500 from the NRA. He has one babe with a gun trading card mini-poster that he keeps in his wallet, right next to the Visa gift card that Wayne LaPierre gave him for his birthday last year. The Visa gift card is so much better than a gift card to a regular store because you can use it anywhere!
Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) received $1,412,819 from the NRA. He had his 137 babe with a gun posters digitized to JPEGs last year and now displays them in a rotating digital photo frame his children gave him for Father’s Day.
Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) received $4,418,042 from the NRA. He has one small babe with a gun photo taped onto each page of the King James Bible he keeps in his office’s private bathroom.
Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) received $23,426 from the NRA. He doesn’t even like babes, only guns, so his poster is actually just a gun.
Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.) received $21,489 from the NRA. He has a large framed poster of a giant gun holding a hot babe that reads “Make America Great For The First Time.”
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.) received $7,450 from the NRA. A feminist at heart, she has a full-time babe on staff whose only job is to stand there holding a gun for 8 hours a day.
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) received $1,439,902 from the NRA. His office was designed to be an exact replica of the scene in Home Alone where Kevin McCallister is throwing a fake party to keep the robbers at bay, complete with mannequins, model trains, and more. The only difference? Michael Jordan has been replaced with a cardboard cutout of a hot babe carrying a gun.
Sen. John Boozman (R-Ark.) received $61,296 from the NRA. He has two babe with a gun posters in his office. He kisses one sometimes to make the other babe jealous.
Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) received $805,219 from the NRA. He uses a big babe with a gun poster as a blanket at night because it makes him feel safe and horny.
Sen. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.) received $335,770 from the NRA. She throws darts at a babe with a gun poster to decide which legislation to block that day. Gun legislation or babe legislation.
Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) received $2,861,047 from the NRA. He reads Bible passages to his babe with a gun poster to teach her a lesson and then after he’s done he goes into the bathroom and masturbates.
Sen. Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) received $65,833 from the NRA. He has a framed babe with a gun poster on his desk that he made his daughter draw. “This is what art is,” he told his daughter. “Make me art!”
Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) received $18,099 from the NRA. She accidentally spilled coffee on her hunk with a gun poster but left it up because the gun part didn’t get wet so it still made her horny.
Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) received $79,203 from the NRA. He talks to his babe with a gun poster about everything and, sometimes, nothing at all.
Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) received $57,135 from the NRA. And he has sex with the babe with a gun poster hanging in his office every night.
Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) received $1,968,714 from the NRA. And his babe with a gun poster has never asked for contraceptive coverage for women without a copay or deductible.
Sen. Mike Crapo (R-Idaho) received $52,135 from the NRA. He has one babe with a gun poster where the babe is holding the gun right between her boobs, which is the best way to hold it.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) received $75,450 from the NRA. He has one babe with a gun poster where the babe is riding a bald eagle, except the bald eagle has the body and penis of a man.
Sen. Steve Daines (R-Mont.) received $121,711 from the NRA. He has one babe with a gun poster where the babe is a good guy with a gun shooting a bad guy with a gun. You know he’s a bad guy ‘cause he’s muslim.
Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.) received $24,722 from the NRA. He has one “Magic Eye” poster where if you look at it the right way, you’ll see Bugs Bunny dressed as a babe holding a gun.
Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) received $365,302 from the NRA. Now that this gun legislation is out of the way, he’s going to ask the Post Office if they’ll make his babe with a gun poster into a stamp.
Sen. Cory Gardner (R-Colo.) received $3,879,064 from the NRA. The NRA emailed him links to a couple cool GIFS of babes shooting guns, which he downloaded and keeps on his desktop.
Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Iowa) received $3,124,273 from the NRA. She has a cardboard cutout of a hunk with a gun that she puts in the office bathroom to prank her interns.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) received $49,049 from the NRA. The babe holding a gun on his poster is two queer WOCs, so take that SJWs!!!
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) received $113,602 from the NRA. He has a poster of a babe with a gun. He named the babe “Trinity” and the gun “Big Papa.”
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) received $140,748 from the NRA. He has a poster of a babe with a gun and the babe is wearing a football helmet and little shoulder pads.
Sen Dean Heller (R-Nev.) received $122,802 from the NRA. He has a poster of a babe with a gun where the babe’s bottom half is a snake and her top half is angel.
Sen. Deb Fischer (R-Neb.) received $14,960 from the NRA. She has postcards of a hunk in a santa hat with a gun that she sends to her constituents at Christmas.
Sen. John Hoeven (R-N.D.) received $17,499 from the NRA. He has a poster of a babe with a gun that he rolls up into a tube and puts over his nose and pretends that he’s a big bird.
Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) received $65,191 from the NRA. He has a poster of a babe with a gun that you can look at with 3D glasses, but the second he puts the glasses on he cums.
Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.) received $100,353 from the NRA. He has a comic book of babes with guns that he hides inside his matchbook so it looks like he’s studying.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) received $615,681 from the NRA. He sometimes thinks that the babe in his poster is aiming her gun at him and a lifetime of greed and lies flash before his eyes, but then he leaves and gets lunch.
Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.) received $11,463 from the NRA. His babe with a gun poster hangs above the framed $1 bill that he first received from the NRA, commemorating the moment he started working for a powerful lobby instead of the constituents who elected him.
Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) received $130,738 from the NRA. She has a pinup poster of a babe wearing a dress made out of guns, like when Lady Gaga wore that meat dress to the VMAs. Remember that dress? Sen. Murkowski thinks that dress was real crazy and also doesn’t like Lady Gaga because of the “loving the gays” thing, but she likes the gun dress that this babe is wearing.
Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) received $4,617 from the NRA. He is happily married with three beautiful children, so he has a poster of all of them with guns, but looking real sexy.
Sen. Jerry Moran (R-Kan.) received $22,171 from the NRA. He wears one photo of a babe and one photo of a gun inside each half of one of those heart pendant necklaces.
Sen. David Perdue (R-Ga.) received $1,825,006 from the NRA. His babe with a gun poster is done by famed graphic novelist Chris Ware, known for his semi-autobiographical work Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth.
Sen. Jim Risch (R-Idaho) received $18,850 from the NRA. His babe with a gun poster is a low res black and white photo he printed out at home after doing a Google search for “guns + babes + freedom + fat chicks r cool 2.”
Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.) received $1,584,153 from the NRA. Each month he receives a variety of babe holding a gun swag via the subscription service BabeCrate.
Sen. Mike Rounds (R-S.D.) received $93,049 from the NRA. And he covered the faces of his 3 babe with gun posters with the famous #TeaLizard meme.
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) received $4,950 from the NRA. He thinks babe with a gun poster is demeaning so he has a bunch of guns with big tits posters in his office.
Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) received $68,623 from the NRA. He has a magic eye babe with a gun poster so he spends even more time than normal looking at it and gets even more frustrated about babes and guns because of it.
Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) received $17,013 from the NRA. He stares at his babe with a gun poster so much that the words ‘babe’ and ‘gun’ kind of get mixed up in his head. So ‘gun control’ sounds like ‘babe control’ to him. Which makes him horny. Someone saying ‘gun control’ to him makes him horny.
Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) received $35,750 from the NRA. He has a poster of babe with a gun and he swears that the babe looks just like Brook Burke and he thinks she might even be Brook Burke’s little sister.
Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) received $259,464 from the NRA. Even though he’s gay he has a babe with a gun poster. He could have gotten a hunk with a gun poster but he doesn’t wanna go around “shoving it in everyone’s face.”
Sen. John Thune (R-N.D.) received $628,645 from the NRA. His babe with a gun poster is taped over a big gaping hole that he hopes to escape his office from.
Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) received $35,250 from the NRA. The babe on his poster is skateboarding, which he thinks is very, “Swag!
Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.) received $88,406 from the NRA. He taped his face over the babe’s face on his poster so it looks like HE’s the babe holding the gun