This picture was the least crazy part of Azealia Banks’ Playboy appearance.

Azealia Banks appeared in Playboy magazine this week in a cat/crazy-quotation–themed spread. Can you guess which of these insane statements came from the mouth of the famous singer?


via Playboy

Azealia Banks is owed many things. But which of these did she feel owed while wearing a weird Bane mask on her face?

  • “Y’all motherfuckers still owe me reparations! [laughs]”
  • “Y’all motherfuckers still owe me for that bank job we pulled in Monaco! [laughs]”
  • “Y’all motherfuckers still owe me the blood from that which has not yet lived! [laughs]”
  • “Y’all motherfuckers still owe me the opportunity to express my opinions regarding the lasting effects of slavery in America’s black population! [laughs]”

The first thing. She said the crazy first thing.


via Playboy

Azealia Banks hates so much stuff, but which of these did she mention while batting at yarn like a dominatrix cat?

  • “I hate fat white Americans.”
  • “I hate that there aren’t more Rush Hour movies.”
  • “I hate how fish always look like they have a secret.”
  • “I hate that racial tensions in our nation make it difficult to have open and honest conversations about the ramifications of our history on our current-day citizens.”

The first one. I, a fat, white American, am telling you the correct answer is the first one.


via Playboy

There is almost nothing Azealia Banks won’t say. Which of these did she mention while having a terrified cat on her butt?

  • “I’m going to call you a fag or a cracker or a bitch.”
  • “I’m going to call you a sack of shit if you ever look me in the eyes.”
  • “I’m going to call you retarded if I ever see you wearing jorts.”
  • “I’m going to call you and talk to you about how passionate I am when it comes to communicating in the face of cultural and racial divides.”

Again, it’s the first thing. We’d also like to add, yikes.


via Playboy

There’s almost no limit to Azealia Banks’ anger. Which of these crazy and violent sentences fell out of her mouth when she was pretending to be a cat drowning in milk?

  • “I punched my teacher in the face one time when I was in preschool.”
  • “I punched my dog in the face because I felt disrespected by it.”
  • “I punched a man in the face at The Dark Knight. That movie is a faggot.”
  • “I punched a hole in my race-relations card when I forced two women arguing to admit that part of their anger was directed not at each other, but at a nation continually and systematically repressing the black community.”

I mean, you know it’s the first one. Like, you hope it isn’t, but it definitely is.


via Playboy

Azealia Banks and her family love reading. What kind of books did she talk about while one begrudgingly present cat was covering her left breast, and one mortified cat was covering her right breast?

  • We had sex books in the house.”
  • “We had talking books in my house.”
  • “We had Bible books in my house.”
  • “We had sex books in my house. We also had the lasting effects of a nation unwilling to deal with the racial issues plaguing it for centuries. We felt them deeply and dealt with them as best we could. We are only human. We are, all of us, human.”

First one. Jesus.