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July 24, 2017
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This, of all things, should totally be what you're focusing on.

Alright, so apparently those celebrity wax figures at this Madam Tussauds place in LA are big in the news right now, so here are 7 of them you’re supposed to care about.

1. Kylie Jenner

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Look, there she is. The girl from that horrible Pepsi Commercial. Or was that her sister? Honestly we’re not sure. We tried to block it from our memory. Anyway, which one is she, on the right or left? WE DON’T KNOW, BECAUSE THE STATUE IS SO AMAZING! That’s what we’re supposed to say, right?

2. Beyoncé

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Ah, right, the big controversy for this one. We’re told they made her too white-looking at first, and then touched it up a bit to make it more realistic. Terrific, so, is this out of the news cycle now or are we supposed to keep talking about it? The latter? OK. Well, we don’t really know what else to say, but, uh… yas, Queen Bey? Sure, we’ll go with that.

3. Jason Derulo

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He sings. He dances. And now he’s made out of wax. Nice.

4. Taylor Swift

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You all know who she is. But do you all know the WAX version of her? Are you seeing the pattern here yet?

5. Tiger Woods

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Tiger. The golfer. But not the real one. The wax one. We’re getting very bored now but you’re supposedly enthralled by this stuff so we’ll give you two more.

6. Lady Gaga

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Isn’t it amazing how in real life, she wears crazy costumes, and now, her wax version does too? Well, you think it is. You just can’t get enough, can you?

7. Snoop Dogg

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OK, we’re done. We’ve fulfilled our quota, and you’ve gotten your wax fix. Want more? Too bad. You’re not going to find it here. Go somewhere else. What is it with your whole wax obsession anyway? It’s a little weird.

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