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Published May 24, 2012

Barry in SpaceIt took me quite a bit of time to come up with a title to this article. Mainly because I’m still not 100% sure what to make of this. Are some celebrities time travelers? Are they just ‘undead’ (I won’t call them vampires outright, because vampires are totally stupid) or were they part of some top-secret jumpers program like Obama supposedly was in his youth? You may have to research that last one on your own, because I can talk ad-nauseum about this (and I want to stay somewhat on topic). Or could this be something completely different altogether? Perhaps our current timelines are converging with those of an alternate, or MANY alternate universes and seeing Nic Cage as a Civil War-era chap is just the repercussions of this merging. With 2012 reaching its midpoint, our solar system hurling through a region of highly-magnetized ‘fluff’ that stretches several thousand light years through our galaxy, our Earth being blanketed with nuclear fallout from Fukushima and our material world completely shitting the bed.. I kind of wouldn’t mind going back to the past and fucking with some timelines as well. I think I’ve been watching too much Twilight Zone and Dr. Who. I didn’t really have a point to this introductory paragraph, so I’m just going to move on to the evidence.

Nicolas Kim Coppola, AKA Nic Cage

Nic CageFor full disclosure purposes, I am a huge Nic Cage fan. Despite having some of the most atrocious hairstyles in his movies, he almost always plays a solid role. I say almost because if you’ve ever seen The Wicker Man, you’ll know what I mean. Anyway, Nic has played a lot of extremely smart or ahead-of-their-time-type characters (National Treasure, Knowing, Con Air..kidding) and I never really made the connection til I saw Civil War Nic Cage. The reason he knows it all, is because he’s sort of ‘been there/done that’. So maybe he really did find a National Treasure and was part of a massive psy-op/cover-up to make people think its all fiction, but really, its based on a true story. It also doesn’t hurt that he NEVER seems to age either.

 

Keanu Charles Reeves, AKA Keanu Reeves
 
Thousands of years ago in the future, there was a man named Keanu Reeves. One of the more entertaining examples, as it appears Keanu may be more than just a time traveler, but perhaps the MASTER of time travel. This is also entirely believable since he never appears to age and has seemingly regressed to his old 1530s pirate look as of late. The 1875 version was coincidentally (or not) a French actor named Paul Mounet who was also noted for his emotionless, deadpan acting style. Interestingly enough, he also died under mysterious circumstances in which no body was ever recovered, allegedly. Maybe The Matrix isn’t as far from reality as I may have thought originally.
Keanu Reeves
 
John Joseph Travolta, AKA John Travolta
 
John TravoltaThis one actually creeps me out a little bit. Not the time travel thing, but more-or-less the creepy “I’m going to grab your cock and then tell you about how the Jews run Hollywood” kind of look he’s giving in both pictures. I don’t think Travolta is of the undead-variety like Nic Cage, mainly because he seems to be aging really poorly. But maybe that’s just to throw everyone off the proverbial trail. There really is no explanation for either of these pictures. Maybe they were time assassins sent to stop John Wilkes Booth from assassinating Lincoln, or maybe JT was just a male prostitute. Who really knows. While these two are interesting examples, the next one really blows my mind.
 
Thomas Jacob “Jack” Black, AKA Jack Black, AKA Paul Revere
 
Jack Black Paul RevereThis is perhaps the most uncanny reference of them all. Paul Revere, the man who supposedly warned of an upcoming British invasion during the Revolutionary War, or if you are Sarah Palin you probably believe something entirely different. Frankly, I don’t really care. Judging on Jack Black’s persona, this is also probably the most believable example as well.
 
John Burke Krasinski, AKA “Jim Halpert” 
 
Most commonly known as “Jim” from the office, bears an uncanny resemblance to human rights activist Carl Adolph Feilberg from an 1835 portrait painting by Christen Kobke.

John Krasinsky

Michael Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone, AKA Sylvester Stallone, AKA Sly Stallone

Sly StalloneThe most recent time travel reference to make the rounds. Sly appears to appear in this 16th Century painting by Raphael, peering stoic-ly at Pope Gregory IX. This is part of a larger painting which is housed at the Vatican. While some may argue that Sly has rather common Italian features and that this is just some kind of coincidence, I beg to differ. When viewing the painting as a whole, several other celebrities ‘appear’ around Pope Gregory IX. So what was so special about this? And was Raphael trying to tell us something, much like Da Vinci, but trying to warn us to avoid shitty movies in the future?

Raphael Celebrity Painting

I would have thought the Stallone reference was just a coincidence, however, it appears that this is more of a group photo than anything. From left to right: Sylvester Stallone, Christopher Walken, Napoleon Bonaparte (?), Anthony Hopkins (Pope), Steve Buscemi, Joe Pesci, Louis CK (or Vincent Van Gogh), Liam Neeson and an older Gerard Butler (kneeling).

King of PopPerhaps these are just random occurrences. After all, there have been billions of people/humanoids on this planet throughout history, so there a bound to be similar faces as well. I am sure there are others, as there are certainly a few suspicious celebrities who never seem to age, such as Will Smith. And when you consider the types of movies people like Smith make, you can totally relate it. Anyway, as our timelines seemingly continue to converge to a point, maybe we will see more of these occurrences, which I will be sure to document. I will close with one final comparison, although I am not convinced as much as I am with the evidence above. It is of Michael Jackson. We saw MJ grow up into a beautiful woman, but all jokes aside, he was very much ‘aware’ in terms of conspiracies and the occult and I believe he also ‘died’ very mysteriously. So maybe we will see him again in the future!

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