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I don't want the tote bag. Who the hell wants the TOTE BAG!?! The tote bag is the "thanks for showing up prize." No thank you sir. The last guy I saw that had a tote bag ,in public, was carrying a little dog in it. And I think he was French as well.

I'm too good for that. You keep your damn tote bag, but know this, by not accepting said tote bag, I leave here a better person none the less.

I know I'm taking a chance. It's free, and someday I might need an extra bag to put things in. The future is uncertain and who knows what I may acquire down the road that would warrant such a tote bag.

I've realized these free tote bags are getting smaller. It would be smart ,on the part of the tote bag manufacturers, to at least make them big enough to hold something significant, at least big enough to carry an infant.

Don't think I don't know the potential of a tote bag. I know the tote and how to use it. When I was a child I had a tote bag with pictures of frogs on it. I must admit, it was nice and it kept the pine cones and dirt, I placed in it, safe and secure.

I also transported a stolen frozen turkey via tote bag. See when you buy a smoker it doesn't come with meat. Also, the budget for meat does suffer when you realize you have to buy wood. With minimal wiggle room, I knew a tote bag was the tool for the job. A 14 lb. turkey under your shirt is stupid, a 14 lb. turkey in a tote bag is business savvy.

I wonder if tote bags have ever killed someone, because I felt pretty damn powerful with a turkey in a tote bag. I'm not a violent person, but if shit got crazy, I'm not above a spinning-turkey-in-a-tote-bag Helicopter Attack. Damn,that'd be cold-blooded.

Look at me, all these great memories about tote bags. Boy, I sure sounded like a goofy goof a few moments ago. Who wants a tote bag? Let me tell you who wants a tote bag, me. I do want a tote bag. Because its free and the world holds limitless things that I may put in it. Such as bees, yard clippings or wet cement.

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