- If your visit's timed just right, you could watch a Polish guy punch out a British skin head during a race riot caused by a stick of salami.
- If you have too much marijuana, you can always find someone to share it with.
- Primrose Hill is a great place to spot celebrities. And also to get bugged by a homeless guy.
- Going to a taping of "The Graham Norton Show" is a great chance to meet other people with special needs.
- That homeless guy washing your windscreen at the Brent Cross traffic lights who looks like Naveen Andrews from "Lost" IS Naveen Andrews from "Lost".
- You can leave the football match early fully confident you won't miss a Tottenham Hotspur goal.
- You only have to learn to speak Punjab, Hindi, Urdu and Arabic and you'll fit right in.
- You can visit any Starbucks and see tomorrow's cancelled BBC show screenplays being written today.
- You can spend 20 hours a week in your car and only put 10 miles on the clock.
- The River Thames consistently tops the Time Out guide's annual list of best places to spot Albanians swimming in leather jackets.
- If you're ever running low on motor oil, you can just find a friendly Iranian, and wring out his hair.
- If you ask really nicely around Tower Brifdge, you can get your photo taken with a terrible father dressed in a Spider-Man costume.
- You haven't truly eaten curry, til you've eaten a fly-covered curry purchased from a sweaty dude named "Purdeep" under the canopy at Camden market.
- You can drive to work, or walk to work, and it takes the exact same amount of time.
- Where else could you find a mayor who looks like Meg Ryan in "Top Gun"?