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February 14, 2010


In the spirit of my blog "Blessed Are the Cheesemakers" in which I paid tribute to the guy who invented Havarti cheese, I must also extend kudos to the unsung heroes who invent and perfect sex toys. It's just one of those jobs that has an undesirable "label", and the idea that someone does THAT for a living brings to mind swarthy perverts with oily chest hair wearing leather, assless chaps and eating bananas all day, which is completely unfair. Don't HATE, appreciate!!! Take my new toy, the Lelo Gigi, which makes that step closer to God so intense that there is no need to trouble oneself on some perilous pilgrimage to a sacred ground because, quite frankly, it brings God to YOU!! I haven't called the Lord's name on a Sunday for a long, long, long time...and today I just might have to call Him again! It's the toy that feels like someone FINALLY asked a woman what she wants, but is also a sure fire way to get a man invited in to do what he wants! We all know how I feel about my room mate, but my GIGI got me to a place where it simply didn't matter! I walked out to the kitchen and said plainly "I need you to lay some wood in this. NOW!" And, so it was done :):):) Some fiddler in assless chaps, scratching his hairy parts, sucking on that banana, has just added about 2 years to a relationship that is going NOWHERE! THAT's how AMAZING their craftmanship is. So, let's take a moment, on this day of romantic optimism, and thank the perverts for using their time to give the gifts that keep on going. Without their depravity and disinterest in polite, societal norms, we would not have the Gigi, the rabbit or, my personal favorite until the short circuit, the sparkler. God Bless :)