A hacker group targeted Sony Pictures last week, and so far at least five upcoming films have been leaked online. Funny Or Die News sent our interns out to illegally download the films, watch them, and report back to us with spoilers. Check ‘em out below.


Fury

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Synopsis: As the Allies make their final push in the European Theatre, a battle-hardened army sergeant named Wardaddy (Brad Pitt) commands a Sherman tank and his five-man crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines.
Spoiler: Rapper Macklemore travels back in time to give Brad Pitt’s character the inspiration for his haircut in the film, giving him the confidence to shoot some Nazis and save the day.


Annie

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Synopsis: A remake of the classic musical, Annie is a young, happy foster kid left by her parents as a baby with the promise that they’d be back for her some day, but ever since it’s been a hard-knock life with her mean foster mom, Miss Hannigan.
Spoiler: Brace yourself. Annie is black in this movie. Not white, black.


Mr. Turner

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Synopsis: An exploration of the last quarter century of the great, if eccentric, British painter J.M.W. Turner’s life.
Spoiler: Every time the main character makes a joke, the actor breaks the fourth wall by staring straight into the camera and saying, “No laughs? Is this an audience or an oil painting, eh?” before returning to the diegetic universe of the film.


Still Alice

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Synopsis: Alice Howland (Julianne Moore), happily married with three grown children, is a renowned linguistics professor who starts to forget words. When she receives a devastating diagnosis, Alice and her family find their bonds tested.
Spoiler: Julianne Moore was a ghost the whole time, not only in this film, but in every film she has ever acted in (with the exception, of course, of Boogie Nights).


To Write Love On Her Arms

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Synopsis: A drama centered around Renee Yohe and her battle with drugs, depression, and other life issues that ultimately leads to the founding of charity group To Write Love On Her Arms.
Spoiler: The story climaxes with a lengthy discussion of The Sixth Sense and how the whole time Bruce Willis was a — wait, on second thought, out of respect for readers who haven’t seen it, we won’t spoil it here.

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