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Published August 07, 2009

The NY Giants have started training camp. Their top defensive line pick, signed for $5m with incentives for the upcoming season reports-

 
”Can we skip the laps today
-what time is lunch?”

The Giants are very excited- being able to bench press 525 lbs. with a reputation of stopping runs better than Immodium AD has them the favorite for the NFC East.

 

Wait- that’s not an NFL lineman.

 

It’s not even a man. Or yet. Maybe medically, not sure about legally.

 

It’s--




Chastity Bono- fair haired child of good ol’ Sonny and Cher.

 Chastity was cute when they put her on camera. Paved the way for the Olsen twins- can’t act a lick, but some baby gaga talk with a smile and gleam in the eye and its ratings, people!

I’m glad Sonny isn’t around to see this. Killed skiing in 1997 and diminished to a small role in politics while Cher grew, hung out with Gregg Allman and became a pretty good actress (I actually liked her in Silkwood) this surely would have been his lack-of-talent-demise. That and unavailabilty of rhinoplasty at the time.

Cher’s part Indian, Sonny Italian- yet blonde hair? Where’s the DNA tests for the real parents? She looks like a Michael Jackson kid- there’s no way in holy fucking hell both Sonny and Cher 'Had You Babe".




“I’m no angel—maybe just a les-be-an”


I’ll buy this parental unit.


Fast forward to the accepting 2000's- where even Dick Cheney's daughter can be herself. Not reptressed by an egocentric conservative who thinks same sex couples should burn in hell with Obama's healthecare plan supporters.




Fuck, Cher. You look like you’re auditioning for the circus. Bad makeup and anorexia do not a career make. Think this had any impact on Chasity’s gender choice? Or the fact Chasity has 43 necks?

 I guess I see faint resemblance in the smile from Cher. But she’s no Sonny.


Chasity sitting on her mom’s bad wax likeness at Madame Tussaud’s.

I know it's genetic and not my buisness, but I can't help but feel sometimes that children of the stars aren't put through too many spotlights that it impacts them.

The Giants could use another lineman, Chaz.

Probably not you though.

Where's Cheney's girl?


I'll do her!

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