Full Credits

Stats & Data

March 02, 2009

I don't know what came over me last week. For whatever reason I became..well..emotional. I started to think about some of the nasty things I have done in my life. I thought of the time we put a hose into a car that belonged to a guy working at the local gas station as he slept inside the cashiers booth late one night. I remember seeing water pouring out of the doors when we drove by an hour later. I think back to the time I left a girl sitting in a bar, with a $60 tab while I went to go see another girl. The thoughts just kept rolling into my brain and I felt low, so low. It was like I was staring at a moral credit report and my score was abysmall. I wondered what I could do to restore my standing with GOD, myself and humanity.
Then it dawned on me. I will do something nice for someone. I can't change the past, but I can start anew. I could find someone whom I have wronged and perform a good gesture in the hopes of rectifying my wrongs. I ran everyone through my head....some people affected were either too far away, either in time or in distance and some were just too pissed off to forgive me. I needed someone who was almost too stupid to question my motives yet deserving of an act of kindness. Someone whose life is so useless and barren that even the smallest recognition of their existence would excite them. It didn't take long.


Meet  shaughn  . He is an FOD frequent contributor and a proud proponent of breastfeeding into adulthood. He has often been the butt of my jokes as well as being the preferred butt of the local seminary. He would be perfect.

I racked my brain thinking of something to do for him.  I could send him a bottle of wine but I am not certain his mother would approve given his tendency to shit himself when drunk and try to sleep in her bed.  I thought about sending him a new shirt but I couldn't find and t shirts with long sleeves sewn inside. While looking I stumbled upon the article " How to care for your slow child" and found that challenged individuals often are mezmarized by moving objects: mobiles, windmills ect. I figured something to take his attention off his Beanie Baby collection and to stop his self mulitation, I would find something that was personable and full of excitement.

I ran across a site which offered the perfect present. Whoopass.com can make a custom Bobblehead from a simple picture. The likeness is stunning.

I quickly entered in the options to customize the figure, opting to change shaugh out of his favorite shirt. I decided on shorts and a short sleeve shirt, with no sleeves. I figured he could keep his addidas hat and glasses since they, along with his retainer, seem to be security items for him and reduce his trantrums. With a little help from MSPAINT, I made a prototype picture and sent it off to 
Whoopass and awaited the finished product.

A few days went by and I came home this morning to find a FEDEX package on my doorstep. Like a child I ran inside hardly able to contain my excitement. I opened the box and shook off the packing material, pulled away the bubblewrap and after a few moments wiped a tear from my eye as I had never before been so close to perfection. The team at Whoopass had captured his every angle and feature in a way few craftsman could achieve. I felt as though I was holding a little shaughn72 right in my hand. I gave it a little shake and watched his head bob and knew this was the perfect gift.