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Published January 31, 2014 More Info »
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Additional Credits:
Matt Newton & Andy Newton
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Published January 31, 2014

Super Bowl Sunday is an event. It is the only day of the year centered on a sporting event, and one that not just men can look forward to. During the rest of the season, it’s commonplace for guys to put bets on the outcome of the game in order to “make it a little more interesting.” We here at TheBrabble agree. But, in hopes of continuing the theme of the day by including everyone in the fun, we aren’t making the odds for the game. Instead, we have set the odds on some “prop bets” or, bets on just about every other thing that can happen besides football. So, if you’re looking to make things a little more interesting with your crowd, follow our odds on these probable occurrences (and make sure to pay us the vig):

Number of sideboobs seen in Super Bowl Ads - Over/Under: 7.3

References to American, America, United States - Over/Under: 472

Times Your Girlfriend Asks You What the Ref Just Said - Over/Under: 17

References by commentators to Peyton Manning saying “Omaha” at the line - Over/Under: 347

Times Peyton Manning says “Omaha” at the line - Over/Under: 132

Odds Richard Sherman is not focused on during the entire game - 78:1

Times your girlfriend asks you who Richard Sherman is - Over/Under: 16

Ounces of seven-layer bean dip consumed - Over/Under: 8

Number of couch-muffled farts - Over/Under: 17

Number of dirty looks your girlfriend gives you - Over/Under: 3

Times an 80s TV catchphrase is referenced in a commercial - Over/Under: 6

Odds the “Full House” guys commercial is good and/or funny - 700:1

Odds your co-worker will still ask you if you saw the “Full House” ad - 2:1

Times your girlfriend mentions “Full House” after the ad airs - Over/Under: 22

How long into the game’s coverage before a black athlete is described by announcers as “well-spoken” - Over/Under: Q3, 3:47 left

How long into the game’s coverage before a black athlete is referred to as a “thug” - Over/Under: Intro into the Pre-game show

Times your friend mentions Janet Jackson’s nipple - Over/Under: 3

Number of nipples you actually see that day - Over/Under: 5

Times Your Girlfriend Passive Aggressively Mentions the “Puppy Bowl” - Over/Under: 247

How long into the second half before you start receiving drunk texts from your mom - Over/Under: Q3, 7:32

Number of beers you will consume on Sunday - Over/Under: 13

Number of beers your girlfriend sees you consume - Over/Under: 20

Number of beers you tell people you consumed on the Monday after - Over/Under: 4.3

Odds of Burt Reynolds appearing in a Super Bowl ad - 5:1

Odds that said ad will be the only work Burt Reynolds gets this year - 2:1

Number of friends who take a shit in your bathroom - Over/Under: 4

Odds of you actually being ready for some football - 4:1

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