Signs of loneliness are not palpable to the eye. Sense of touch become scars on the flesh. The wounds of loneliness are not on the surface - extorting cries human ears cannot hear. A secret punishment not roused up for slumbering humanity. Daily tampering with the mysteries of the brain is immeasurably worse than any torture of the body.
In an existential commitment where liminalities are lost, mimetic behavior escalates & mimes can be mistaken for charismatic leaders capable of saving you. Entire civilizations are characterized by the absence of a “master of ceremonies,” which can in turn lead to the rise of tricksters into positions of power. Imitation, whether in learning or in social activity, is only possible if we are not aware we are imitating … as soon as we do so, imitation will produce no effect in learning /no pleasure in involvement.
The first-viewing of any film is enjoyment on the immediate level. It is impossible to see all the subtleties & complexities. You miss key sequences, shots or narrative facts.
Riding the rails to Hollywood with hobos, I see human suffering & poverty. I sleep on the floor; I go hungry. I learn the difference between poverty & being "broke" (when back home, you are wealthy). I’m too uncomfortable to stay uncomfortable. I marginalize. I disenfranchise. I alienate & subjugate. Disqualify. A voyeur at the helm of exclusion. I tempt fate & that’s when she steps in to raise the stakes. It is an age of creativity where I ask radical questions; where the unquestioned grasp on life is loose. It’s a time of uncertainty which involves society.
A hobo steals my shoes—one of which has a studio ID card sewn into the sole—& is pulverized by an oncoming train. The railroad cops, finding the ID, announce I am dead. Meanwhile, however, I am actually beaten & robbed of the $5 bills I hand out to hobo’s before returning to my film studio. In a stupor, I assault a cop & am cuffed. I tell them who I am, expecting cessation: but without ID & the headlines full of the news of my death who will believe me? I am convicted & sent to a prison work camp where life finally bestows upon me THE experience we seek: human suffering with no escape clause. Now I gain the knowledge to make a film on devastating poverty & genuine suffering.
Except the lesson I learn is the exact opposite of that I expect. I see the last thing sufferers want is to watch people suffer. They need a break. To rumble & implode with laughs. For an instant forget everything that is wrong. To feel how wonderfully silly is.
So, because everything that could go wrong, did—I gain the experience that a perfect story bestows upon her protagonist …. I return to the place I began & sees it with new eyes: The world changes not. I do.