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Additional Credits:
Written by Adam McKay
1 Funny Votes
3 Die Votes
1,963 Views
Published March 22, 2009
1. Watch television news.

2. Figure out what the deal is with that Octo-Mom lady! She is craz-ee!

3. Masturbate and then watch a day time judge show.

4. Figure out ways to get the bail out money back as a campaign donation (for members of congress only)

5. Take speed and stay up for four days straight arguing with friends over where Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's relationship is going. I think they're friends with benefits! If you disagree with me I'll cut your face with toe nail clippers! :)

6. Blame everything on those stupid, stupid home owners. (For Rick Santelli only)

7. Blog about how true to the Walt Simonson version of Thor the movie will be. Don't F it up Hollywood!!

8. Move to Dubai and count the billions you funneled into Haliburton while posing as a public servant for eight years (for Dick Cheney only)
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