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May 03, 2011

What do class reunions have to do with bull riders, parachuting and bungee jumping?

Parachuting. Bareback bull-riding. Bungee jumpings. Activities that are fueled with adrenaline and danger. All of these pale however in comparison to the High School reunion..the true test of one's daredevil spirit.

For four years, people who have the general IQ of a piece of cheese make your life a humiliating, pathetic mess...and those are the bus drivers. But the people who tormented you in school now invite you to the reunion not because they want to see you...but because they want to see if you're still alive. Because that's the only way that I'd attend my reunion..is if I were dead..for at least ten years or more!!

These are the people that you went to school with. The same people who you felt the love from as they shoved and locked you inside your locker. The same people who bullied you for your lunch money...which is just something a teacher shouldn't do...in my opinion! The compassionate people who spread the rumors throughout the school that you were pregnant...sure...you're a guy but it still hurts!

Sure there were a few bad times but what about the good times? Remember the time in lunch when they forced you to suck milk through a straw...using your nose? Anyone can focus on the isolated bad times, right? Love 'em or hate 'em, these are the people in your class. Even though they seem mean, evil and dishonest, let's remember that many of these people have served 5 to 10 years in prison at least once during their life AND prison may have mellowed them...somewhat.

So sure anyone can focus on a few negative points but what about the other times? The times that you shared in school that made you feel good and glad to be alive. What's that? You didn't have any times like that during High School? Neither did I and so here's what I say to High School reunions....

Not a friggin' chance...now leave me alone!