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Published April 12, 2010

Those Were Different Times Contest #40

Introducing: "Natal Alegre" an album by ... I'm guessing the too thin Santa guy.
Winner of the "and by _ I mean _" award:
"Look, Santa's asking her if she wants a ride in his sleigh" and by Santa I mean "psycho wacko rapist" and by asking her if she wants a ride I mean "going to drag her by the head with his victim procuring stick" and by sleigh I mean "van".

11. As he showered her with presents, she had the unexplained suspicion he was a crook.

10. Is telling her that Mrs. Claus is his mother, not his wife.

9. No matter which way the candle is twisted, it goes in further.

8. Back then the Stork brought the babies, and Santa took back the mistakes.

7. She asked him to not allow Desperate Housewives to be cancelled.
He said anyone who's been with Leif Garrett had to be naughty, so no promises.

6. If Santa doesn't answer her prayers, I'm sure that Candle will - over and over and over again!

5. "A Very Golem Christmas", now available on Poop-Ray™

4. A happy home is where Santa peeps!

3. So far, he’s come down the chimney, and in her armpit.

2. Santa *also* sees you when you're lonely and vulnerable.

1. In Portugal when you're naughty, Santa sprays your hair with aqua net and blows on a nearby open flame while you pray for mercy.