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September 10, 2013

NBC executive offers his opinion on the current situation with Syria

NBC chairman Bob Greenblatt believes that Syria handing over it’s chemical weapons is the best resolution to the current diplomatic conflict the US finds it’s self in, and if they could do it before new shows premier next week that would be great. “I understand that its vital to a democracy for the President to update the nation when we are potentially going to war but letting them cut into primetime programing during premier week would be really hurt our new line up” Mr. Greenblatt said when asked what he thought by his doorman. “I’m all for giving the president time on the air, during the afternoon, or summer, hell I’d do it before fall sweeps even; but premiere season is a delicate time for us, so I’m against military strikes because he would probably announce them with a primetime press conference.”

“I really think that we are putting out shows this fall that can compete with what cable is putting out, take Ironside for instance, a show about a street tough cop who even after being paralyzed comes back to the force and solves crimes from his wheel chair. I think Blair Underwood could win an Emmy for this.”  Mr. Greenblatt seemed uninterested in discussing how Syria’s use of chemical weapon’s was an affront to the international community, or whether the United States should still seek to punish the embattled regime of Bashir Al-Assad.

“A weak US is a terrible thing” Mr.Greenblatt did say “for the future of some of our shows, like Blacklist, no one would believe that a master criminal like James Spader’s character would surrender to the US after it had just been shown up by Russia, so the sooner this is behind us, like before next week the better.” As the man delivering his Chinese food left Mr.Greenblatt encouraged him to tune in for the Million Second Quiz.

When reached for comment a representative of the Assad regime admitted “We are hoping to string along the international community until the finale of Breaking Bad”