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Published July 10, 2008

WEED WARS Episode IV: A New Dope
Parts 37-48

Weed Wars IV: Part 37


    Oily-One waited for a group of Slur-troopers to pass by. Then he made his way across the corridor. He was now near the docking bay and starting to feel strange. He drew out his bright sabre.
    Oily-One could hear the liquor bubbling, almost before he saw the figure. Drunk Raider stood across the room from Oily-One, his red, bright sabre blade already ignited. Oily-One walked slowly towards the half-human, half-robot, beast that had been his pupil so many years ago. He ignited his green bright sabre blade.
    "I've been fucking waiting for you Oily-One." Raider said. "What took you so fucking long old man. When I left you way back when, I was just the learner. Now, I'm the fucking master."
    "Master of evil, slurred speech, maybe." said Oily-One. "I can hardly understand you drunk, fuck."
    "I guess I shouldn't have had that extra glass of 151 with breakfast." said Raider as Oily-One lunged at him. Their sabres collided in a small shower of sparks and a loud crackle. They each swung and blocked over and over. They battled intensely for a bit before backing off from each other to rest and reorient themselves.
    "Your powers are fucking weak-ass old man." Raider said.
    "You'll never fucking win." said Oily-One. "If you kill me, I'll become more fucking powerful than you could imagine."
    "And you say drunks are dumb? What the fuck kind of stoner fucking logic is that?" Raider said as he and Oily-One exchanged a few more blows. "You never should have returned, shit-scab."
    Raider and Oily-One continued to battle as the others tried to find a way to the Milheadian Friedman. Hash and CheWeeda were standing behind a corner just out of sight of the guards in the docking bay. Fluke and Higha arrived there shortly afterwards.
    "What the fuck took you guys so long?" asked Hash.
    "Little white troopery guys kind of fucking slowed us a bit." said the princess, with more than a hint of sarcasm.
    "Well, the fucking ship looks OK. If we can just get to it." said Hash. "I just hope the old guy broke the fucking the tractor beam for us."
    Oily-One and Raider continued their sabre battle with intensity. Slash, strike, block, parry. As they battled, they slowly moved in front of a large blast door that looked out into the docking bay. The troops in the bay all started to look over at the battle raging on and wander in that direction to watch. A real Red-eye battle was something that hadn't been seen in decades.
    C3P Grow and ArDoob were still waiting for their moment to get to the ship. When the guards started to leave and watch the fight, they saw their chance and started towards the ship.
    "Now's our fucking chance." said Hash. "Something has their attention, let's go."
    They all started to head to the ship but Fluke started to slow down when he saw the battle.
    "Wren?" said Fluke as he recognized the old man fighting with Raider. He ran a bit closer to see what was happening. Oily-One turned his head slightly and recognized Fluke. He knew this was their chance to escape. Oily-One turned to Raider and a smile started to form on his lips, as he raised his weapon to his face and closed his eyes. Raider swung his weapon and it sliced right through the old man as his robes fell to the floor with his extinguished sabre.
    "No!!" screamed out Fluke in pain and fury. The Slur-troopers all turned and started to fire their weapons. Fluke and Hash fired back as CheWeeda ran in to start the ship and Higha ran for the entrance. The robots were still behind due to the fact that they weren't built for speed, but they were nearly there.
    Raider walked over to the robes and looked at them. He poked at them with his feet. There was no corpse to be found anywhere. Raider turned and started to walk towards the blast door and the firefight beyond.
    "Come the fuck on, Fluke!" called Higha. "Let's get the fuck out of here."
    "Blast the fucking door!" Hash screamed as he noticed Raider.
    Fluke fired the gun and destroyed the door's control panel in one shot. The door slammed shut, locking out Raider and any reinforcements. Fluke didn't move, but just kept trying to kill every trooper left in the bay.
    "Run Fluke, get the fuck out!" the voice of Wren came out of nowhere. Fluke wasn't sure if he imagined it or not, but he listened. He ran into the Milheadian Friedman and shut the door. The ship raised in the air as Hash took the controls and turned it around. The engines fired and the ship left the confines of the Drunk Star toward freedom.
    Fluke sat in the back of the ship with a completely stunned look on his face. The robots looked at him in silence and sadness. Higha put a blanket over his shoulders and tried to comfort him.
    "We're coming up on their guard ships." said Hash to CheWeeda. "Get the shields ready and hold them off. I'll get the fucking main guns ready."

Weed Wars IV: Part 38

    Fluke sat at the table in the back of the Friedman, with Higha by his side trying to comfort him.
    "I can't fucking believe he's toast." Fluke said to Higha.
    "There was nothing you could have fucking done." Higha said to him. "Raider's a fucking animal, he would have killed us all."
    Just then, Hash burst into the room and looked right at Fluke.
    "We ain't in the fucking clear yet." Hash said. "Come on."
    Hash went and crawled up a ladder to the upper blaster gun. Fluke followed but went down the ladder to the lower gun station. They each sat in a seat with an aiming console and a flight stick to aim and shoot with.
    "OK, get ready." said Hash through the communication headset. "They're gonna come fast. Just calm down and take your time aiming."
    "They're coming." Higha announced to them.
    The first wave came by. They shot at the Milheadian Friedman as they flew past. Fluke and Hash tried to shoot them down as they passed by, but it was harder than Fluke thought it was going to be.
    "They're coming in too fucking fast!" Fluke exclaimed.
    The Sky-fighters kept up their attack. One of the shots struck the Friedman just right. The ship rocked and C3P Grow fell to the floor. The shot also caused a small fire to start. ArDoob extended an extinguisher nozzle from his body and put out the fire with it.
    Hash was struggling with the ship's blaster guns. It was tough to get the proper lead on the target. Hash fired. He fired again. This time it rewarded him with a huge explosion in space as he destroyed a Sky-fighter.
    "Fuckin' A!" Hash screamed.
    Fluke was also having some difficulty with the slow guns, but he was getting used to it. He fired, and was also rewarded with a hit.
    "Got him!" Fluke said excitedly. "I got the fucking bastard."
    "Don't get over confident, bud." said Hash. "There's still two of them left. Get the stupid fucks!"
    The Sky-fighters made several more passes. It took a bit, but Fluke and Hash each scored another hit, destroying the last of the attackers.
    "That's it! we fucking did it!" exclaimed Fluke.
    The only one not celebrating was C3P Grow, who had gotten tangled in a bunch of wires when he fell down. He was tied up and trapped by the wires.
    "Fucking help!" Grow called out as he looked up at ArDoob. "I know that somehow, this is all your fucking fault."
    Back on the Drunk Star, Tankin and Raider were looking at the radar screens and watching everything unfold.
    "Are they fucking gone yet?" Tankin asked.
    "They just made the hyper jump." Raider replied.
    "Are you completely fucking sure that the homing beacon isn't going to fall off or be discovered?" Tankin said. "I'm taking a massive fucking risk here. Your damn plan better work."

Weed Wars IV: Part 39

    While the others were in the back, Hash was flying the Milheadian Friedman and Higha was in the co-pilot’s seat. While CheWeeda saw to any repairs the ship needed in the back, Hash couldn't help but brag to Higha up front.
    "Pretty decent fucking rescuing, Eh?" Said Hash. "I'm so fucking good that sometimes it surprises even me."
    "Big fucking Whoop!" said the princess. "There's no reason for the easy escape, other than them letting us go."
    "That's what you call fucking easy?!" Hash exclaimed.
    "They must have put a tracking device on the ship somewhere." she responded.
    "Not on my fucking ship!" Hash said indignantly, as the princess shook her head.
     "At least the information inside ArDoob is fucking safe." Higha said.
    "What the fuck is so fucking important about this fucking robot!" Hash cried out in confusion. "What the hell is in his memory banks that's so fucking important."
    "It's the blueprints for that giant, fucking, planet-destroying, monstrosity that we just escaped from." she told him. "Our only hope is that we can find a weakness when they are analyzed. We're not at the finish line yet."
    "I sure fuckin' am." explained Hash. "I didn't do this for you or your revolt. I did it for a fucking payday, got it?"
    "Don't fucking worry about that." the princess responded. "If money is the only fucking thing you care about, then that's what you'll fucking get."
    She got up out of her seat and headed towards the back of the ship, almost running into Fluke as he came up from the rear.
    "Your friend is sure fucking cold." she said to Fluke. "I wonder if there's anything or anybody that he cares about."
    "I care about shit." Fluke said, hopefully, as she continued to the back of the ship.
    "So, any opinions about her?" Fluke asked as he got in the co-pilot’s seat.
    "Not any real positive ones, kid." Hash said.
    "That's fucking good." Fluke said, showing a little too much of his feelings. Hash got a subtle, grin across his lips.
    "But." he announced. "She's got personality, and her lips look like they were built by the hummer-gods themselves. I just don't fucking know. What do you figure? Do you think that a princess and a guy like me could ever..."
    "Not fucking likely." Fluke cut him off. Hash's grin broke into a full smile.

Weed Wars IV: Part 40

    The Milheadian Friedman came out of it's hyper jump and made it's way towards a green and blue jungle moon. There were lush jungles and massive pot plantations everywhere. Amongst all the green were pyramids in which the rebels hid. The moon was Hackin 4. They landed the ship and made their way into the rebel Highliance's home base.
    As the small transport vehicle came to a stop, Higha hopped off of it and approached an older man in uniform. The others got off and started walking over, as well.
    "We were scared shitless for you." the man said as he gave her a hug. "After the AlderBong incident, we didn't know what to think."
    "No time now, commander." she said to him. "Analyze the plans in this ArDoob robot and use it to plan the fucking attack. It's our only chance."
    A technician plugged a cable into the mainframe and plugged the other end into ArDoob. A picture of the Drunk Star came up on the screen and rotated through different views as the information was downloaded.
    Tankin and Raider sat in the conference room on the Drunk Star, waiting for an update. A panel on the table lit up and a noise was emitted. Tankin pressed the button to answer the call.
    "We are preparing to orbit the planet Hackin." the voice coming from the speaker, announced. "The rebels are on a moon on the other side of the planet."

Weed Wars IV: Part 41

    An old man was standing in front of the rebel pilots while a screen behind him displayed the Drunk Star. He was giving them the battle plan. Fluke had taken a seat with the pilots while Hash And CheWeeda stood at the back of the room.
    "The station has shitloads of armour and almost as much firepower as the fucking fleet." the man explained. "It's defences are designed to take on a huge force, however, we believe that a single-man fighter can get through this defence."
    CheWeeda looked at Hash with a questioning expression on his face. Hash just waved him off.
    "When it comes to small ships, the defences are pretty fucking slack, relatively speaking." the old man continued. "The plans provided by princess Higha have shown us a weakness. It won't be easy but it can be done. You must fly like a mother-fucker down this trench and then hit this 2 meter wide hole with a torpedo. A perfect fucking hit will send it right into the power reactor for the whole station. Then get the fuck out because I'm sure the explosion will be huge.
    "Two meters is pretty fuckin' small, man" one of the pilots sitting by Fluke, said. "That's in-fucking-possible."
    "No, it ain't that bad." said Fluke. "I sometimes used to shoot the fucking balls right off of sand whales. Those aren't much bigger than two meters."
    "Get ready then." the old man finished off. "May the Buzz be there for you."
    The Drunk Star was now orbiting Hackin.
    "We're at maximum orbiting speed." the voice said over the speaker. "We'll be in range of the base in about a half hour."
    "Today's going to fucking rock." Raider said to Tankin. "It already gave me Oily-One's death, and now it's going to give me the end of the fucking rebellion."

Weed Wars IV: Part 42

    Fluke and C3P Grow walked down the hall towards the hangar. When they rounded the corner, Fluke slowed down for a second. He saw Hash and CheWeeda packing some boxes out of a transport to bring on the Friedman. Fluke walked over to them.
    "So!" said Fluke. "You got paid and now you're just going to fuck right off, huh?"
    "Yeah." Hash replied. "I got some huge debts to pay off. And if I didn't, why the fuck would I stay here? Why don't you come with me instead. You're alright in a scrap, I could use a fucking guy like you."
    "Give me a fucking break." Fluke blurted out. "You see what the fuck these guys are doing. They need good fucking pilots. You fit the description. And here you are deserting them."
    "What the fuck would I want a reward for?" Hash asked. "If I'm fucking dead. This attack is a fucking suicide mission."
    "Well then, watch your ass. I guess you're an expert at that, Eh?" Fluke said as he turned to walk away.
    "Hey, Fluke!" Hash called out. "May the Buzz be there for you."
    Fluke turned and walked away without saying another word. CheWeeda gave Hash a strange look and made a sad sounding growl. Hash looked at him.
    "What the hell are you gawking at?" He said. "I know what the fuck I'm doing."

Weed Wars IV: Part 43


    The hangar was full of mechanics and specialists, all checking out the fighter ships to make sure they were ready for battle. There was activity everywhere. Higha was walking with the commander, making sure that all was well in the hangar. She saw Fluke walking in her direction and noticed that he didn't look very happy.
    "Are you alright?" she asked Fluke.
    "I guess. " he replied. "I just thought that Hash would change his fucking mind and help us out."
    "Well, there's fuck all you can do about that." she told him. "He's got to do things his own way and nobody else can make his fucking choices for him."
    "If only Wren were here." Fluke said.
    She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then went about her business. Fluke walked further into the hangar, towards the ship he'd be flying.
    "Hey Fluke!" a voice called out from behind him.
    "Buds!" Fluke exclaimed. It was his old friend from HydroWeed. It had been quite a while since he'd seen Buds.
    "Hey, how'd you get here?" asked Buds. "Are you going up?"
    "Yeah, I'll be right fucking up there with you." Fluke said. "I can't wait to tell you some of the fucking shit I've been through."
    "Highwalker!" A voice interrupted. "Can you handle this ship, son?"
    "Sir!" Buds spoke up. "Fluke is the best fucking pilot in all the outer rim systems."
    "You should do fine then." The officer said to Fluke, before continuing on his way.
    "I'll have to hear those stories of yours when we get back." Buds said.
    "Hey, Buds." said Fluke. "I told you I'd fuckin' make it, someday."
    "It'll be better than old times." Buds said. "Nobody's going to fucking stop us."
    Buds continued on to his ship while Fluke started to climb the ladder to his. There were technicians and mechanics giving the fighter some last minute adjustments. ArDoob was being lowered into the mechanic robot spot, right behind the cockpit.
    "This Mech. Robot seems beat to shit." one of the mechanics said. "Do you want me to fucking replace it?"
    "Not on your fucking life." said Fluke. "That robot and me have been through some serious shit together."
    "You make sure you fucking come back." said C3P Grow up to ArDoob. "Who the fuck else is going to get me in shit all the time. How fucking boring would that be?"
    Fluke put on his helmet and closed the cockpit. For a moment, while he was taking off, he swore that he could hear Wren's voice talking to him.
    "Fluke! The fucking Buzz will be with you."

Weed Wars IV: Part 44

    Dozens of small fighter ships took off from the jungle moon of Hackin 4. The rebels had launched their assault on the Drunk Star. Now it was a race against time to take it out before it could blow up the moon. As the ships launched into space, the rebel control room was bustling with activity.
    "Warning." a voice came over the loudspeaker. "The Drunk Star will be in range to fuck us up, in fifteen minutes."
    Out in space, all fighters were reporting in to the commander. One after the other, they announced their readiness to battle.
    "Prepare your ships and get ready to attack." captain Stonedillies announced. "Rev up to attack speed."
    "Holy fuck!" said one of the pilots "That thing is fucking huge!"
    "Shut up Orange-bud 3, and keep your mind on the mission." the captain said. "This is for all the fucking chips."
    "We are ready for our bombing run." the bomber leader announced.
    "We'll draw their fucking fire while you start your bomb run, Purple-bud leader." Stonedillies said.
    The fighters flew down towards the surface to keep the heat off of the bombers. As they flew across their line of sight, the laser cannon operators tried to shoot them down. Unfortunately for the Hempfire, the cannons were hard to aim and designed for larger, slower targets.
    "This is Orange-bud 5." Fluke announced. "I'm fucking going in."
    He flew his fighter down close to the stations surface, firing the whole way. There were several explosions but they only, really, caused surface damage to the enormous station. He got too close to one explosion.
    "Pull the fuck up Fluke." said Buds. "Are you OK?"
    "I almost got fucked up, but I'm good." Fluke replied as he pulled away from the stations surface.
    Inside the Drunk Star, Raider was walking down a hall when he was stopped by an officer.
    "Lord Raider, we counted about 40 or 50 rebel ships but we can't hit shit with the huge fucking cannons." he said.
    "We'll have to take the fuckers one on one." Raider commanded. "Launch the Sky-fighters."
    The fighters kept attacking and taking out the occasional laser cannon.
    "I'm going in to take out that guard tower." Buds said. "Cover me Horkins."
    The two flew down toward the tower. Buds scored a direct hit but Horkins flew too low and got caught in the explosion.
    "Fuck!" screamed Buds.
    On the Drunk Star, Tankin was watching a screen. On it, was a depiction of the Drunk Star closing in on the moon from around the side of the planet.
    "Seven minutes until the rebel base is in firing range!" a voice announced over the speaker.
    Fluke was flying in for another attack. He was just about to fire when he thought he heard a voice. It didn't sound like a radio transmission though. It appeared to come out of nowhere.
    "Trust your instincts, Fluke." Wren's voice told him.
    "Keep your eyes open." a voice from the rebel base, announced over the radio. "We've just picked up a squadron of Sky-fighters."
    "Here they come." said one of the rebel pilots. From behind them, a bunch of Sky-fighters came in at high speed.
    "There's one on your ass, Buds." said the captain.
    "I can't fucking shake the fucker!" Buds cried out as he tried to manoeuvre out of the enemies sights.
    "Hold on, Buds!" said Fluke. "I'm on my fucking way." Fluke flew up behind the enemy Sky-fighter. It took a bit, but Fluke soon had him in his sights. Two laser blasts from his quad lasers later, the enemy was destroyed.
    "A few fighters have left the main group, come the fuck with me." Raider said to a couple of pilots while he got prepared for battle.
    "You got one behind you, Fluke" a voice said as a Sky-fighter took up position behind him. Every time the enemy had Fluke in his sights, he'd lose him. He let a shot go that broke one of Fluke's stabilizer wings.
    "I'm hit!" said Fluke. "It's not bad though, I'll be OK. Try to fix it ArDoob."
    ArDoob extended a welder arm and tried to reattach the stabilizer.
    "Where the fuck is Fluke?" asked one of the pilots.
    "I can't shake this fucking bastard." Fluke said. "Where the fuck are you, Buds."
    "I'm on my way, Fluke." Buds responded.
    Fluke was flying all over trying to lose his enemy. The Sky-fighter stayed on his ass the whole way. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Buds' ship swooped down and destroyed the enemy with one good shot.
    "Thanks Buds." said Fluke.
    "Orange-bud leader, this is Purple-bud leader. We're ready to start the attack runs." the leader of the bombers announced.
    As the bombers began their trench run, three Sky-fighters started to come up behind them.
    "Stay in formation with me." Raider said as he and two wingmen approached the bombers from the rear.

Weed Wars IV: Part 45

    The three bombers made their way down into the long trench that led to the exhaust shaft, the final target. As they sped down the long trench, laser cannons fired at them.
    "I'm switching on my targeting computer now." the bomber announced.
    The targeting screen dropped from above and placed itself in front of one of the pilots eyes to aid his aiming. The center bomber put all of his attention on the targeting computer while his wingmen watched for trouble.
    "The cannons stopped." one of the bombers said. "Keep an eye open for fucking enemy fighters."
    "There's three of the fuckers coming in behind us." a wingman announced.
    Raider and his two wingmen came up behind the bombers.
    "I'll take these pussies out myself." said Raider. "Just cover my ass."
    Raider came up on the bombers quickly. He took one of them out in seconds.
    "I can't fucking shake him." the bomber said.
    "Stay the fuck on target." his wingman replied.
    Raider took out the wingman and turned his sights on the leader.
    "Orange-bud leader, they took out both my bombers." Purple-bud leader said. "They came from behind us."
    He had barely finished his transmission when Fluke saw the Sky-fighters destroy the last bomber.
    Tankin sat inside the battle station, watching the action on the monitors. An officer came up to him and made an announcement.
    "We've studied their attack." he told Tankin. "There is a possible threat. Should I get your fucking ship ready?"
    "Are you a fucking coward or a retard?" Tankin asked. "We're about to end this fucking rebellion, and you want to run the fuck away? You give these twats too much credit."
    "Three minutes until firing range" the computer announced to him.
    With the bombers taken out, it was up to  the other fighter pilots to make the bombing runs.
    "Get ready for your trench run." the captain said.
    Fluke, Buds and Stonedillies stayed above to be spotters while three fighters headed for the trench. The cannons fired at them, but still couldn't hit anyone. Soon the cannon fire stopped.
    "They're coming in behind you." Fluke said as Raider and his wingmen took up a place behind the fighters.
    "I see them." said the lead fighter. "I'm in range, switching on targeting. Just hold them off for a few."
    Raider fired his weapons. He took out a wingmen and turned his attention to the other one.
    "Almost ready to fire." said the captain.
    Suddenly, the fighters other wingman went out in a huge fireball. It was just him now, with the enemies right behind him. He got within range and let the missile go as he tried to pull up and escape his pursuers.
    "I missed the fucking shaft." he said. "It was just a surface impact. I just lost one of my fucking engines, get ready for your attack run."
    Just as he finished speaking, Raider shot him out of the sky. Now everything was up to Fluke, Buds and Stonedillies.
    "We're going to go in at full speed." Fluke said. "That should fuck them up."
    "Will you be able to fucking pull up in time?" Buds asked.
    "Sure, It'll be like when we used to do those canyon runs when we were younger." Fluke replied.
    They entered the trench at full throttle, and didn't let up.
    "I can see the end of the trench on the computer but not the exhaust port. I don't even know if the fucking computer can hit it." said Stonedillies.
    "You take care of the fucking fighters." said Fluke. "The target is my problem to worry about. ArDoob, that stabilizer is getting fucky again, try to fix it."
    ArDoob started to weld the piece back in place. At that moment, the cannons stopped. It wouldn't be long until Raider was on their tail.
    "Here come the fucking fighters." Stonedillies said as Raider and his wingmen took up a place behind them. Raider fired several shots. One of them hit Stonedillies' engine.
    "I'm hit." he said. "I've got to break off."
    "Get to safety." said Fluke. "There's not a whole lot fucking else you can do."
    "Fuck him." Raider said as Stonedillies flew to safety. "Stay on the fucking leader."
    "Hurry the fuck up, Fluke!" Buds exclaimed. "They're coming in way faster this time. I can't fucking hold them off."
    Suddenly, Raider let loose with a laser blast that hit dead center and destroyed the ship containing Fluke's old buddy.
    "No, Buds!" Fluke cried out. It was just him and Raider now.
    "30 seconds until the rebel base is in range." the computer announced to Tankin on the Drunk Star.
    "I'm on the fucking leader." Raider told his wingmen. "This will all be over soon."

Weed Wars IV: Part 46

    Fluke sped down the trench, with Raider and his two wingmen right on his ass. He engaged his targeting computer and looked through the eyepiece. A digital representation of the trench, with a distance to target indicator, showed on the small screen. As the distance counted down, Fluke thought he heard a familiar voice.
    "Use the fucking Buzz, Fluke." the voice of Oily-One said. "Let go, and follow your feelings."
    "The Buzz is fucking strong with this fuck-tard." Raider said as he struggled to get Fluke in his sights.
    "Just fucking trust my ass, Fluke." Wren's voice pleaded.
    Fluke reached over to a button on the panel in front of him. He pushed it and the targeting computer raised up out of the way.
    "Fluke, what the fuck is wrong?" the commander asked over the radio. "Your targeting computer just shut the fuck off!"
    "Not a fucking thing." said Fluke. "I'm good to go."
    Raider was still struggling to get Fluke in his sights. He let out a few blasts but missed Fluke's ship. He did however, hit the little mechanic robot behind the cockpit.
    "ArDoob's been fucking hit." Fluke said as C3P Grow grew tense with fear for his little friend.
    "The rebel base is in range." the announcement told Tankin.
    "Fire when fucking ready." Tankin commanded.
    The officer in control of the main laser, started pressing buttons and charging up the super, planet-destroying blaster.
    Raider was aiming all over trying to get Fluke in his sights. Finally, after a while, he locked onto Fluke.
    "Now you're mine, fucker!" Raider said as he prepared to shoot Fluke down.
    Suddenly, one of Raider's wingmen burst into flame.
    "What the fuck?" Raider exclaimed.
    "Fuckin' A!" called out Hash as he destroyed the enemy fighter. The other wingman became startled and lost control of his ship. Just before he blew up on the side of the trench, he ran into Raider and sent him spinning into deep space.
    "You're all fucking clear." Hash's voice announced over the radio. "Blow the fuck out of this shit-hole and then we'll go the fuck home."
    Fluke shot the missile and pulled up to avoid the dead end. The weapons officer inside the Drunk Star was in the final phase of powering up the laser. As the laser was getting ready to fire, the missile made it's way down the shaft to the reactor. Just as the laser started to glow, the entire station exploded in an enormous fireball.
    "Fucking awesome shot, kid." said Hash. "Un-fucking-believable!"
    "Remember." Oily-One's voice said to Fluke. "The Buzz will always fucking be with you."
    Raider had regained control of his ship but had no clue as to where he was. The rebels, having destroyed the biggest threat to their freedom, headed for home base.

Weed Wars IV: Part 47

    As Fluke landed his ship, a crowd of cheering people welcomed him and the others back. Princess Higha ran through the crowd.
    "Fluke!" she cried out as she ran to hug him.
    "Hey!" another familiar voice called. It was Hash. "We fucking did it, bud!" he said as he welcomed Fluke with a friendly hug.
    "I knew you'd fucking come back." said Fluke.
    "I'm not going to let you take all the credit and hummers." Hash replied.
    "I knew you needed more than just fucking money." Higha said as she hugged Hash.
    There were people everywhere and they were all cheering loudly. A huge burden had been lifted off of their shoulders by a farm boy from HydroWeed and his friends. They were heroes.
    "Oh fuck-nugget!" said Fluke as he saw them lowering down his damaged ArDoob robot.
    "Holy fuck, ArDoob!" cried Grow. "Answer me ArDoob! You fuckers have to fix him."
    "They'll take good care of him." Fluke said. "He'll be OK."
    Then Fluke, Hash, Higha and CheWeeda all went to enjoy their victory.

Weed Wars IV: Part 48

    Fluke and Hash stood before a long walkway with CheWeeda directly behind them. They were dressed up and ready to take their walk of victory. They were inside the bottom of the biggest pyramid on Hackin 4. There were hundreds of people on either side of the walkway. Practically the entire rebel Highliance showed up to pay their respects to the heroes who saved them all.
    Up at the front of the room was a large stage area, where princess Higha Organic stood. She looked more fuckable then ever, in her dress robes. The heroes walked down the alley and up the stairs to meet her. She smiled at Fluke and Hash as they smiled right back at her. She took a medal and placed it around Hash's neck, while he flashed her a horny wink of his eye.
    Fluke was looking behind the princess. There stood C3P Grow. Who was so fucking cleaning that he sparkled like gold. He looked proudly at his master, as Fluke gave him a nod of his head. As the princess placed a medal around Fluke's neck, a sudden flurry of beeps and whistles erupted. It was ArDoob, standing beside Grow and fully repaired, cheering him on. Fluke and Higha both laughed at the excitable robot.
    The heroes then turned to the crowd as Hash's companion CheWeeda let out a triumphant roar. The Highliance cheered as they celebrated their first victory against the Hempfire, and their first step towards making the galaxy safe for pot-heads once more.

THE END?

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