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Published April 13, 2011 More Info »
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Published April 13, 2011

After posting a Craig's List ad looking for cleaning work, I got many great responses from real people who seem real. Here's every single one, and my responses exactly as I emailed them back:

From: fredcanderson17@hotmail.co.uk

 
Hello,We are looking for motivated, honest, positive, fun loving, and outgoing individuals (preferably with own transportation.MUST EXPERIENCE IN TAKING CARE OF A HOME. This is a part time position to maintain home for two working adults. Must be able to really clean a house. Ironing, laundry, changing bed linen, running errands such as dry cleaners, grocery store, top knotch cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom, good attitude, professional, and ability to see when things are out of order. Health insurance will be available.

Compensation: $400/Per week
This is a part-time job.
Job start ASAP
Get back to me ONLY if you are interested !

My Response:
 

I appreciate your immediate response to my ad. $400/wk. is generous, but I am in a tough spot right now. Can we make it $750/wk.? Also, I noticed your email is listed as being in the UK. Will I have to commute?
-Tuck RakeSquad

____________________________________________________________________________

 From: jeff.anderson.simpson@gmail.com


 

Good Day,
 I am John Robert and My wife's name is Pauline Robert, We are
relocating to the city from Cairo/ Egypt and will be coming there to
work on contract basis with United States Environmental Protection
 Agency on a private research work So i need someone who could help in
cleaning my apartment three times per week and this will be at your
free time because this is a PART TIME JOB.

 I will be offering you $30 per hr i will be needing your services for
three hours at any suitable time of yours three times in a week
Probably Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays or Sundays i hope 4hours
is enough to clean a 3 bedroom house with one master bedroom and two
standard size rooms, with One Living room and a kitchen as well. I
believe you are fit for this position in as much you will prove
yourself to be a reliable and hard working person,Our arrival date
would be 20th Of May You will start working on same day.

You will help us to clean the apartment in the morning or a day before
of our arrival date,I will tell the estate agent to mail the keys of
the apartment to you so that you can be able to clean it on the 19th
of may before we arrive. I want know if there's any equipment that you
will need me to provide, if there's any let me know how much it will
cost, I will be spending about 2yrs for the contract job, so i will be
needing your services for that time as well if am satisfied with the
services you rendered.

 We have a financier that is based in the states and he will be
handling the payment and some other expenses, so he will be the one
that will be taking care of your payment, I will instruct him to pay
for the first two weeks before my arrival so as to secure your
service, actually i should have paid for more weeks but i will extend
the payment if am satisfy with your service after the two weeks.

So my financier would be needing the following Information to make out the check :

Name to be on Check :

Home address or Office Address :

City :

State :

Zip code :

Cell Phone Number:

Home Phone number :

Do you accept my offer?

All i need from you is total honesty and sincerity. I know you will be
committed to the work,You will also have a nice period of working with
my wife. I will be waiting to hear from you.

Below is our picture

Regards.

 John Robert

My Response:
 
I accept your offer, but first I will need your address and phone number. My company can will send me a check for $3000 dollars of which you must pay $4000, the remainder of which will be refund to you upon completion of services. If my work is less than that, than the all remainder will be likewise forwarded, and do you accept this agreement as such?

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: perfectible Kirk (perfectiblehkkirk@hotmail.com)
 
Is Craig's List giving you results?

Learn how my friend gets 16k on the internet

Me:

How ironic is your email, "perfectible" h. k. kirk?! I haven't had any results using Craig's List because of, well, whores like you. Internet-advertising tampon-barrels. So Kirk, is bottom feeding giving you results? I hope you choke on porcelain shards.

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan



_______________________________________________________________________________


 From: desiresococ@aol.com

Hi, this guy showed me this program I really used to get 300% back on my $$. You just have to sign-up, and there is no c0st and you go from there. risunw sypgiq

Here You Go

Peter

lqhsndgrg wwob svxoqmkqkkpojpzijdq

Me:

Dear Desires Oc Oc-

I really want to join whatever link it is you sent me that I didn't visit, but first I need to know you are legit. Can you send me documentation that you really used this "program"? Further more, who is the "guy"? Is he Kyosaki, because if so, sign me up right now. I like to work for my money, but as a lazy asshole, I'd rather triple my $$ by clicking some junk. Also, kjsodh allspdo

Here you are

Jape

P.S. lqhsndgrg wwob svxoqmkqkkpojpzijdq. You'll know what I mean!
_______________________________________________________________________________
 

From: donaldchris20@yahoo.com
 

Hello,

Thank you for your timely response, the house is a two bedroom unfurnished apartment.. My Financier...[long load of bullshit]...so that the payment won't get lost...

HERE ARE THE DETAILS I WANT YOU TO EMAIL BACK SO THAT THE CHECK CAN GET YOU:

First name...................

Last name.....................

Door step street address...............

City..........................

State.........................

Zip/Postal code...............

Age............................

Home phone....................

Cell phone.....................

Current position in Occupation...........

i strongly believe you will enjoy working with me..

Best Regards

Me:
 

Hey D.C.-


Golly, thanks. All I've gotten is trash in response to my Craig's List ad. I am quite thankful I have finally gotten a decent response. To answer your query, my specialty happens to be pick up trash in common areas and changing light bulbs. I just need this much more info from you:

First name.....................

Number of lightbulbs needed changed......................

Porch-specific street postal address findings............

gender..........................

events...........................

name...........................

number of vanity mirrors you expect me to wipe..........

number of vanity mirrors I will wipe................

I am working for the Federal Bureau of Investigations (F.B.o.I.) and would like a prompt response. Also, do you play chess.

Warmly,

Teddy
_______________________________________________________________________________

 

From: liltreevesvj@hotmail.com

Explode your income ... enjoy life.

Yes - Show Me

Go Direct --->

http://www.hiqcart.com/iot/


Me:

Awesome! Thanks for joining the growing list of responders to my post with nothing tangibly valuable to me! You suck goat anus, you colossal waste of time!
_______________________________________________________________________________
 
I lost the email here, but kept the response: 

To: srinivesguachu@hotmail.com

Hey Srinives!

Thanks for responding to my ad on craigslist. Too bad it wasn't at all for what I posted. Go proof read your emails, then go fuck yourself!

______________________________________

From: johnmackayson@gmail.com

Hey,

I came across your postal about job, i have one and You can email
for more details.

 Thanks,
 John Michael James

Me:
I just got this exact message from another man who's name implies trustworthy European descent. I can't believe how much response I'm getting to my posted! What are the details that You have for i?

His Respose, oddly from a new email address:
From: Williams Terry (williams_terry18@yahoo.com)
 
Hello,

Thanks so much for your quick response..i would like you to clean my house and get $500 weekly and you will be cleaning 3 times in a Week and the cleaning materials will be provided for you for the cleaning of the house..And i will like to pay you by check and i will want you to send me your Full Names,Physical Address and your cell number so that the check can be mailed out to you today and you will get it tomorrow.

I will be waiting to read back from you with your info. so that the check can be send out to you.

No thanking me "Williams Terry" nee John Mackayson (a.k.a. "John Michael James"). I should be thanking you. Here I am seeking a cleaning job on the internet that will cover my bills and you offer me this hot $500/wk. jazz. I only hope that it's one hour per clean, so that at 3 times a week I'm getting roughly $167/hr. That's pretty average for me, but I do deign to your petty cleaning. Do you live in a cave?

Thoughtfully,

Euro James America

Jerks!

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