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July 14, 2008


This has to be the best discovery I've made since earlier today when I discovered that the other half of yesterday's avocado was only brown on it's very thin top layer.

It would appear that Funny or Die, like the fabled avo, is green and delicious on the inside.

I had no idea FOD had a community.

See, class, it PAYS to stalk people.

Who am I stalking?

Don't even worry about it. Just walk away, Bro, RIGHT NOW.

The name of the hombre what I've been stalking is:

Well it rhymes with Rick Cloone.

But I think he's really stalking me.

When I first moved to Gloss Angeles, I was invited to the Laugh Factory by a fat sweaty comic who opened. 

Hey...are you crying? No, it's okay that I call him fat and sweaty. He's a friend of a friend, and all his jokes were about how fat and sweaty he was.

Anyway, that fateful night, I saw a gangly caucasoid with a sharp wit, an acoustic guitar, and checkered vans. Two of them. Then and there, I vowed to write that stringbean into a script. 

Now, not three years thence, 'Richard Clooney' has just been POPPING up. Down he street, at work, at (((church))), at a benefit concert, and in my cereal. 

But I'm devoted. Do you have any idea how my people feel about a single hair, let alone and entire white man, being found in a bowl of cereal? Well now you do.

And, My Dear Pubic Pimples, it is the very same Dick Poon what has leaded me here on today. 

In closing, don't push me, push a push-pop.