This morning, for the first time in about two weeks I actually had the house to myself. The laundry is done, the kitchen swept and tidied, my work is caught up, my kid is at school, and I have the day to myself. Sigh. Hmmmmm. What's to do....(whistles). So, I go in my room, and it's kind of cute because even though no one else is home, I still close the door and feel my cheeks warm as I drop my jeans and can't help a little giggle as I jump under the covers. It's all good. When I'm done, I think out loud "GOD! I LOVE MASTURBATING!" And, I do. I like it because it's personalized. I can go as long or as short as I like, I can do over the panties or I can do up to my elbow, it's all about me. And when it's all said and done, I just make the bed and go wash my hands and get on with my day. It's really good that way, I get to have some release and there's no other person to negotiate time, affection or responsibilities with. That being said, I pretty much assume that most people masturbate, but notice how it's never listed as a pastime, say on a resume or something of the like? Even though we all do it far more often than we go parasailing or cliff diving or shark hunting, we masturbate infinitely more (because it's awesome), and we NEVER mention it as a leisure activity. And, if someone does mention it as something they like, the word "PERVERT" comes right to mind. So, the condemnation of masturbation is not in the act, but in the proclamation. What a bunch of freakin' hypocrites we all are. By the way...I didn't write this.