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APR. 24, 2012

 

An intricate booby trap was discovered along a popular Utah trail this week.

But given Utah’s stance on polygamy it isn’t that hard there to get trapped by boobies.

 

As the Roger Clemens retrial continues, one prosecutor stated the former Major League Baseball player is a man who likes to tell lies, and “other lies to cover up those lies”.

In completely unrelated news, have you ever noticed that Roger Clemens’ testicles look like a rolled-up sock?

 

Federal health officials say that Gulf seafood that’s on the market is safe to eat despite worries about the long-term environmental effects of the massive BP oil spill two years ago.

Also, if you’re driving by McDonald’s be sure to pick up the new limited-time sandwich the “Fuel-E-O-Fish”.

 

A man in Alabama was presumably arrested for wearing his pants that were "too saggy".

Though he shouldn’t take the charges too seriously because he was taken in by the cop from The Village People.

 

Voters in California will decide later this year whether to abolish the death penalty in their state.

Sources say that the capital punishment will be replaced by “being forced to watch re-runs of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians””.

 

A new USB flash drive is set to hit stores that looks exactly like a tampon.

The device can hold a lot of data, but three days a month there is no chance you are going anywhere near your files.

 

A new video game chronicling the life and candidacy of Ron Paul is set to debut.

Each level, you try really, really hard, until you decide just to spitefully let someone else win.

To counter a board game about the Newt Gingrich campaign will be available soon - “Hungry Hungry Hypocrites.”  

 

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