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July 12, 2017

A career in the medical field can be a stressful one.

Dr. Ross Finkle is generally a nice guy. Him and his patient, Ron Klump, initially bonded when Klump came in for a pre-surgery walk-through and info session with Finkle. They both love fried chicken from Popeye’s and The Red Sox, that’s for sure. And they agree that the Sox really need a consistent offensive presence at 3rd base!

But all that love and bedside manner came to a literal screeching halt this morning while Dr. Finkle was operating on Klump and accidentally nicked an artery at the end of the surgery. With blood going everywhere, nurses frantically trying to help, and The Beach Boys Tribute Band (The Barbra Ann’s) that Finkle had tickets to see with his wife fast approaching, the Columbia University educated doctor threw his scalpel at the wall and shouted for all to hear “Look he’s a great guy, but we’re done professionally!” Shocking words from a guy who took an oath.

Once Finkle patched up Klump and finished the surgery, he sprinted out of the O.R. still covered in blood and with all his doctor gear on straight to the Orpheum Theater to meet his wife. He was not let in. His wife had “a fucking blast,” though.

Finkle did not respond to a request to comment on the incident, but Klump was more than happy to weigh in. “Damn, man, I just wish I had known the Beach Boys Tribute concert was that night, I would’ve rescheduled the surgery for a different day, I love those guys. I totally understand why Finky was so pissed, I would’ve been too. Hopefully we can get together and go to a Sox game soon, though.”

That may not happen though because Klump has to go back nextweek for a corrective surgery on his knee and Finkle has tickets to The Shins that night.