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October 01, 2012

An essay about love and kitties and guns and spelling.


My favourite invention ever is autocorrect, I recently purchased a smart phone and have screwed up many a text conversation. This is the reason why Auto correct is so great. Our society has never changed “illiteracy is at an all time high” I may have over heard from a un-trust worthy source.  It is a beautiful and hilarious thing for some one to text. “I hate my cunt” instead of  “ I hate my aunt”. The amount of proofreading our society neglects to blame on them selves and instead gives to autocorrect is sexy. I mean sexilicious.

When people proclaim literacy is down, I raise my arms in praise. This means that I’m smarter than some people.  When someone screws spelding grammer good is better foring you. Why tell them they are a poor speller. Let people live their lives blaming other sources for their follies.  This way, when the zombies attack you can write letters to your friends who are dead because they can’t spell. People who are illiterate should remain as such this way you can feel better about yourself.

When some one misspells a word so harryhenderously and it makes a completely outrages and offensive word like “Dick Fart” or “Susan” all to be blamed upon autocorrect, that helps you out. Now you know that person was never invested in the conversation. They might be driving, looking at shiny things, or just not caring. Because they misspelled a word, you can now do that to them. A lack of proofreading from a texter creates a world wear the ignorant can blame their devices software. This means you can join in the ignorance or know that you’re an idiot for not proofreading your work or creating better technology.

You sir or madam are the problem, your super computer of a phone did not screw you in the butt heart. Your neglect to care about your conversation farted your ear. Truly when someone is murdered it is the media’s fault. Nope. You did it. You are the media. You are the device. You are society. To blame anything that is created by mankind is just you blaming yourself because you refused to create a better piece of technology. If your uncle died from being struck by lighting maybe then you can blame nature. However if your uncle was using a lighting rod and was struck by lighting he’s kind of an idiot.

What the crepe, I mean crap am I on about? If a man kills people, that is to be blamed on you. There is no fault of someone else but you. You may not have been the killer but clearly as humans we have been killing and blaming others for our entire existence. You are to blame for auto correct, as am I. We created it.  But if you choose to proof read your work you’ll run into less problems with spelling. You’ll get better and better then one day you might stop killing people because of auto correct.


Love Always,