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Published July 02, 2008 More Info »
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Published July 02, 2008

I've just been alluded to as an "unfunny cunt." I'm positively ecstatic at reaching this new height of recognition.

The first question is, how shall I incorporate my new status into my public image as well as my media projects? Let's see...Does anyone know where to find an official Unfunny Cunt name badge to wear to networking events? Or what about those Unfunny Cunt interactive graphic badges to add to my myspace page? Unfunny Cunt group in Facebook? Sign me up.

The next step will be to announce my new status in a press release - "Southern Jewish Princess has been named Unfunny Cunt of the Week by the Association of Illiterate Bitter Narcissistic Chauvinistic C-Listers."

I'm not sure all of that will be enough. I'm going to take my status to the next level. I'm changing my branding. Instead of Southern Jewish Princess Media, my production group will now be referred to as Unfunny Cunt Southern Jewish Princess Media. And my cartoon will now be renamed, How to Live and Eat like an Unfunny Cunt Southern Jewish Princess.

How do you achieve such heights, you ask? You want to become knowledgeable about this course of development so that you can guide your sons and daughters toward this level of achievement? Ahhh, I wish it was that easy. You see, every individual has to find their own inner Unfunny Cunt. Some of us are naturals; some are late blooming, as I was. All I can do is share my own journey and hope it inspires others.

You see, I have had a lot going on in the last two weeks. I have finished (with an amazing team) and published a little cartoon teaser clip that I’ve been working on for months, and then it climbed the hot list to #30 of over 2300 animations on Funny or Die, and hopefully will continue to climb. I found out that my website, Funny not Slutty was listed with award, and just published new better than ever stories on the site. …Whew. But, this has caused a bit of a stir for a few. They have not heard much about me and don’t know me and they are tired of seeing my admittedly frequent updates as of late. Hence, committee hearings and public discussions have concluded and confirmed my new status.

What, my friends, is the secret to becoming an Unfunny Cunt? I’m not sure, but I do know there have been some amazing of us out there, and hopefully many more will emerge during my journey.

SJP

PS. I just registered the domain name unfunnycunt.com (really). Not sure exactly what I'll do with it. Might make it my personal blog. I'm currently designing the t-shirts.

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