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June 10, 2016
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Do you think Beyoncé does anything that isn't on purpose? Boy, bye!

At a New York City concert on Wednesday night, Beyoncé surprised the audience by letting out a sneeze. Fans all over the internet watched the clip over and over-delighted by the fact that Beyoncé’s perfectly polished facade cracked for a bodily function. Since then, a rare email leak from Beyoncé and her team show how the legendary sneeze came about.


To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: manager@beyonce.com
Subject: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Hi Team-

Formation Tour is going great, but the Queen and I were talking and we need to do something really special in NYC. Something big. Any brilliant ideas?

-Steve

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer2@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Here's just a few ideas we were brainstorming in the crystal lounge:

  • Longer Prince tribute
  • Giraffe on stage (been done before?)
  • Bey parachutes in from a blimp with her face on it while holding bald eagle
  • She and Jay-Z renew their vows
  • Break world record for most drag queens break dancing
  • Cover every surface in sparkles, including audience
  • More, bigger explosions
  • Barack Obama dances to Single Ladies


-Kyle
To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: manager@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Yawn! This is Beyonce, people! We need something revolutionary!

To: choreographer2@beyonce.com, choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
From: bey@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Dear Team,

What if I sneezed?

Sincerely,

Beyonce Knowles

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

OMG. Brilliant.

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer2@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

YAAAS! Amazing!

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: manager@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

This is going to revolutionize concerts. Ok, how do we make this happen? Remember, it has to be the greatest sneeze of all time. #GSOAT

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer2@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Biggest question: Will she or won’t she cover her mouth?

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Obviously covered. The real questions is, does she cover it with her hand, or in her arm? If arm, I need to design new sleeved outfit….

To: choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer4@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Hand says it was more off the cuff, but it’s also less sanitary. Arm feels way more current to me…

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: manager@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Manager: We’ll go with arm. That’s settled.

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer2@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Will she do a pause-turn-sneeze-smile or a faster, louder ACHOO with a downward motion into the arm? Let’s decide this ASAP. I want to make sure we have ample rehearsal time. Don’t want another Ellen Show fiasco when I swear the audience could almost tell we had choreographed Beyonce’s laugh and also breathing.

To: choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer4@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

When should this happen? Before the Prince tribute?

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
CC: bey@beyonce.com
From: choreographer2@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Goddamit Ellenore, stop trying to upstage my Prince choreography! I spent three years working on that, and he finally actually died. You know Beyonce and I practice five hours a day for potential future celebrity tributes.

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
From: costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Guys, taking Bey off this CC. If the audience doesn’t say God Bless You, will she be offended? #disaster

To: choreographer4@beyonce.com, choreographer2@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com
From: manager@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Already thought of it. We’ll pipe in a realistic audience response through Bey’s ear piece, so even if they don’t, she’ll think they did. Sent it to a sound designer ten minutes ago.

To: choreographer2@beyonce.com, choreographer4@beyonce.com, costumedesigner1@beyonce.com, manager@beyonce.com
From: bey@beyonce.com
Subject: Re: TOP SECRET- Mind Blowing Concert Surprise

Dear Team,

I am excited to try this big sneeze tonight. Thank you for all the hard work. Now please excuse me as I have to begin my pre-show ritual and oil all my bionic joints.

Sincerely,

Beyonce Knowles

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