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December 21, 2016

Think "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," only a lot more scarier and real.

‘Twas the End of The World

‘Twas the End of the world, when all through the land
Racists were stirring, and bigots did stand;
They lay silent in waiting until they all cast their votes
In hopes that their fat orange dipshit could gloat;

The liberals were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of Hill and the Dems in their heads;
Barack in his neck tie, and Michelle in a dress,
Had assured us all that the US was blessed,

When from the polls there rang such a clatter,
We turned on CNN to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV Dems flew like a flash,
Flipped on the switch and lit up some hash.

And then on came A. Cooper with his hair white as snow
Who made the announcement and we all gasped, “Hell No!!!!
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you seriously fucking kidding me right now???!!! Holy fucking-fuck! Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem … where was I?
Then, what to our watering eyes should appear,
But a Demagogue and his children, all peddling fear.

We went to the rallies and protested till dawn
We blogged and we Facebooked, till we let out a yawn
Then we drank and we drank and then drank some more
Then we drank and we drank till the knock on the door.

In a raven black limo, and with a smell like dump,
We all gasped at the sight of a President Trump.
Under his hair piece was revealed two red horns,
his eyes glowed blood red, and his fingers were thorns.

Now Mnuchin, now Tillerson, nowMattis, and Ross,
On DeVos, on Bannon, on Perry, cried the fat Hoss.
As he appointed his cabinet without much of a fight
It was glaringly clear everything was “all white.”

The skies turned to soot and the forests all died,
Babies were jailed whenever they cried
The borders were locked down and Muslims arrested
The EPA was disbanded and women molested.

Free thought was abolished and criticizing was banned
Unless it came straight from the evil orange man.
The rich became richer and danced on the poor
Who were marched into camps and locked behind doors.

His eyes—full of blackness! his dimples disturbing!
His cheeks seemed like he’d been the victim of curbing!
His grotesque little mouth was pursed like an asshole,
And his heart was a wet little mass of chewed Skoal.

Soon Putin came calling and got Trump on his knees
He then sucked and they fucked despite all his pleas.
Once fully submitted they dined on some mutton,
Before touching dick-tips and pushing the button.

In the end there was beauty in that bright white flash
The nuclear blast vaporized all to ash.
If this all sounds extreme and a tad bit absurd
Please don’t blame me, I voted for Her.